translated_Chapter 101

101: Attachment, sympathy… all the feelings that make you willing to spend a lifetime together…

How long until we can meet? I want to see you, to talk to you face-to-face, to hug you.

For some reason, not long after the last letter, Ai La returned looking lost.

When talking about those letters, the smile on Ai La’s face carried a hint of mockery.

Jing Yueming found it difficult to feel that trace of bitterness belonging to Mr. Maple Leaf.

Ai La seemed very free this time, so free that she started to engage in art.

Jing Yueming was very happy about this; having the same hobby as his lover meant they had more common topics to talk about.

Ai La often fiddled with her old phone and went to paint in her spare time. Jing Yueming interspersed himself into these moments.

Getting into a decent university saved a lot of trouble.

Another year passed, and starting in his freshman year, he painted with Ai La; companionship always helped alleviate things.

That winter, Ai La’s family came.

Ai La went to be with her family. That person was too mysterious. Jing Yueming tried to understand but couldn’t find any clues.

He went to Ai La’s studio several times before finding her, and her condition didn’t seem right. Maybe she was stumped by her latest work.

Gemini, what does that mean?

News of Ai La’s death came in the spring. Ai La’s death was too hasty.

In an instant, he couldn’t see Ai La, nor could he receive letters.

He became alone again, not wanting to call home. He didn’t care how clever and lively Li Yuhang was in kindergarten.

The relationship with his biological father broke off when Ai La appeared.

Jing Yueming felt as if he had been abandoned by the world. Would God give him back a lucky star?

Yes, this time it was an emerald.

Jing Yueming thought:

Qiu Ci, you look so much like Ai La.

Your personality is as gentle and considerate as Mr. Maple Leaf.

It’s a pity that you, as a boss, are not smart enough. I’m clearly not worthy of even being your lover.

How could you be willing to let me carry you through so many people, and dare to let me go to your company?

At the banquet, you invited me to attend with you, saying I was your younger brother.

Am I that important to you, more important than Su Yuyang, even your sister?

When Jing Yueming was detained, he became distressed again.

Could it be that such a good person was always approaching him with an ulterior motive? No wonder, everything was so perfect. Qiu Ci had tailored a scam for Jing Yueming.

Tsukimi Rin gave him the possibility of a comeback, at least to drag Qiu Ci down.

Qiu Ci understood these twists and turns much better than them, so how could he reveal such a big flaw?

If Qiu Ci’s only goal was to frame him, there was no need to go to so much trouble to approach him.

Tsukimi Rin thought these were photos to use against Qiu Ci, but Jing Yueming put them on one side of the scale, the side labeled “He loves me.”

“He doesn’t love me” was originally light and airy, but after being forced up, Jing Yueming was left with only the heavy “He loves me.”

Qiu Ci, you have to love me.

Jing Yueming thought.

He guessed right.

The confession was fake, the process was fake, and the result was also fake.

Qiu Ci’s love was real. He couldn’t bear to see Jing Yueming imprisoned, even if it meant ruining his own reputation to get him out.

One night at the villa, he found the real Mr. Maple Leaf.

Because it was Qiu Ci who resonated with him.

It was Qiu Ci who replied to him.

It was Qiu Ci who loved him.

And it was Qiu Ci who wanted to leave.

Qiu Ci said, Jing Yueming, this isn’t love, it’s attachment, it’s gratitude.

Then how should love be defined?

In the past five years, Jing Yueming became accustomed to writing letters again, writing them in a notebook that no one saw. Should he send them out?

What if there’s a reply?

What if?

One year, Jing Yueming was alone abroad. The moon was so round. He wrote in a letter: “Qiu Ci, will I ever see you again?”

“Yes.” There were many stars in the Yunnan night, and the lights were off in the room.

Qiu Ci looked at the calendar with him, talking about those letters: “This one, it was around Dragon Boat Festival in China, because I made mooncakes for the neighbors. In your letter, you asked if we could meet. We’re meeting now, aren’t we?”

“Qiu Ci, I’ve wanted to say this for a long time: if a couple grows old together, always loving each other, do they count as loving each other?”

“Yes,” Qiu Ci nodded.

“Then I also want to grow old with you. I’ll take good care of you. Don’t give up anything for me, just be with me. It doesn’t matter if you can’t reply to my messages in time. At worst, we can still be like when we were writing letters, so I can receive your response, okay?”

Qiu Ci opened his mouth but didn’t make a sound. How could this not be love? It didn’t matter who he treated him as; that was just a position, and only Qiu Ci could sit in that position.

“I’m sorry…”

“Please don’t apologize.”

It’s easier to reveal your thoughts and secrets at night: “I… Jing Yueming, I don’t want to live like this.”

“What do you mean?” Jing Yueming’s mind started racing: “Qiu Ci, what do you mean? You’re just complaining, right?”

“No, I’m not just saying it casually. I signed a contract in the Netherlands, scheduled for euthanasia in March… I had it all planned…”

“What do you mean ‘planned’? Is this a vacation? Qiu Ci, you’re lying to me. Are you testing me again?”

In the darkness, the two couldn’t see each other’s eyes: “I’m serious. You want companionship, you want love, I can understand all of that. Please understand me too. I feel like I’m letting Qiu Shi down by living. You think growing old together is very happy, and that idea is great, but I’m in pain.”

Jing Yueming hugged Qiu Ci tightly: “Then what am I supposed to do? I didn’t study psychology. All I can think of is, in the future, every holiday, will I just be able to hug your tombstone? Qiu Ci, how can I make you feel better? Let’s find a win-win solution…”

“There’s no win-win solution. I’m Qiu Ci, my thoughts and personality are set in stone. Tsukimi Rin can forgive me, but I can’t forgive myself. I want to go and be with Qiu Shi.”

“Stop talking, stop talking. Qiu Ci, you can say goodbye to me, I can wait for you for ten or twenty years.”

“Then what’s the difference between me and being dead to you?” That’s what Qiu Shi said to Tsukimi Rin when she couldn’t see her that year.

“Even if it’s pretending, I’ll pretend you can see me. Just don’t… don’t go… don’t go to the Netherlands.”

Qiu Ci smoothed his hair, he shouldn’t have told him, he was impulsive again. Leaving him with a glimmer of hope was fine too: “You’re not a child anymore.”

“Don’t go next year, I’m scared, Qiu Ci, I’m so scared right now.”

Qiu Ci was amused, how could he be so timid: “If I become a ghost, then I’ll be by your side, okay? I’ll bless you with no illness, no disaster, and everything will go smoothly. Go buy lottery tickets when you have nothing to do. If you win money, you’ll know I’m next to you. If you don’t win money, it means I’m telling you not to be opportunistic.”

Jing Yueming wasn’t cheered up by the joke; he was still shaking his head: “Then I still can’t see you.”

“So, every time you get lucky, it means I’m by your side. If you’re a little unlucky, it means I’ve gone to play. I’ve become a ghost, can I take a little break sometimes?” When he’s in a good mood, there happen to be cheap and pretty flowers for sale at the door. When he’s hungry, he runs into a snack stall. When he’s lonely, someone will be there to accompany him. When he’s sick, someone will take care of him, or he’ll never get sick again.