ID Chapter 14

While he patted his full stomach after eating everything, an employee cleared the empty dishes and asked Kwon Su-han.

“Would you like dessert?”

“Ira, what do you want to eat?”

It seemed Kwon Su-han hadn’t specified the dessert menu. When he asked what desserts were available, the employee mentioned Sujeonggwa and Sikhye, so Kwon Su-han asked for Sujeonggwa and Ira asked for Sikhye. The employee immediately brought the desserts. There were also pretty flower-shaped yakgwa.

“The yakgwa is on the house.”

“Wow, thank you so much.”

The employee bowed slightly and left.

Ira slurped the Sikhye. It was sweet and refreshing.

“You eat everything without being picky.”

“Yes, I’m not a picky eater. Thanks to you, I ate well.”

“It must be hard for you to have to filter your food, despite eating so well.”

Suddenly, the Sikhye tasted bitter. Kwon Su-han must have wanted to talk about this from the beginning. He was probably trying to be considerate by letting Ira finish his meal before bringing it up.

“Not really. I’m used to it.”

“Do the members know?”

“…No.”

“Your family?”

Ira shook his head.

“This is crazy.”

Kwon Su-han frowned. Annoyance appeared on his cold, stern face.

“Why are you keeping it a secret? Why haven’t they caught the culprit?”

“I came here to say this. Is there something you want? Something you want in exchange for keeping it a secret?”

“…Ha.”

“If you don’t want anything from me, then talk to our company’s CEO. Talking to me about this a hundred times won’t do any good.”

As Ira pouted his lips, Kwon Su-han looked exasperated.

“You need treatment.”

“I didn’t even touch that Cyanide Cookie, so I’m not hurt at all.”

“Not that kind of treatment.”

“Then what?”

“…You can’t not have trauma.”

“Oh, are you worried I might have a mental illness?”

“…….”

Perhaps it was because Ira used the provocative word “mental illness.” Kwon Su-han’s sharp gaze grew even colder.

“I’m fine. I was prepared to be disliked ever since I debuted as an idol, and I just need to be more careful with food. Nothing like that has happened again. I’m quite easygoing by nature.”

My fingers trembled, so I hid them under the table. A cold gaze swept over me, dissecting me.

“You’re lying in front of a doctor. A Soul Aura User cannot have an easygoing personality.”

“…But I do.”

“Soulers are more delicate, emotional, and easily swayed by feelings than anyone else. At A-class or S-class, they tend to be either extremely high or extremely low in self-esteem. From what I see, you seem to be the latter.”

“I completely love myself, though? My face is cute, and I sing well. And Kwon Su-han, you’re not a psychiatrist. Don’t you know how dangerous it is for a non-specialist to diagnose someone?”

“Of course, I can introduce you to another doctor.”

“No! I don’t want more people knowing my secret.”

My voice involuntarily rose. Kwon Su-han, as if expecting it, spoke next.

“If you don’t want psychiatric counseling, I can heal your aura.”

“Heal my aura…?”

“Yes. Because I am an Adapter.”

The thought that Soul Aura is connected to the mind crossed my mind. But how could someone so cold provide healing? He’d probably just make my heart even bleaker.

“This is blackmail, isn’t it? If I don’t get treated, you’ll leak my secret?”

“I am a doctor. I cannot just stand by and watch a child like you waste away, unable to eat properly, right before my eyes.”

“Didn’t you just see me clean out two bowls of rice?”

“If you refuse treatment, I will contact a reporter.”

“…….”

It truly was blackmail.

Now that I thought about it, Kwon Su-han was the only one among those who knew my secret who said I needed treatment. This person, whom I was seeing for only the second time, was the one who seemed to worry about me the most.

It was blackmail that I couldn’t refuse anyway, but aura healing… I felt uneasy about having to lay my emotions bare before that person.

As I deliberated, Kwon Su-han added another remark.

“I can also expand the range of your Soul Aura.”

Woah.

“Okay. I’ll do it. Deal.”

There was nothing more to consider. Wow, what a huge gain. Wealthy people often pay thousands to enter contracts for an Adapter’s aura amplification. Even if it wasn’t enough to raise my class, an increase in aura would be beneficial for Endorphin.

“When do we start? Today?”

“Next time, we’ll do it somewhere more comfortable.”

Yes! I felt good and grinned broadly. My wariness towards Kwon Su-han crumbled.

“Kwon Su-han, you look so cold, but you’re surprisingly warm. Taking care of an idol’s health even when you’re not close.”

“…Because I’m a doctor.”

Kwon Su-han’s expression became subtle. He seemed to be looking at me with a strange sense of wonder. It was exactly the kind of expression that said, ‘He can laugh too,’ which made me laugh.

Kwon Su-han and I both had busy mornings ahead, so we got up to leave. I put on my jumper and opened the sliding door.

“Oh, are you leaving?”

“Yes, it was delicious. Goodbye.”

There were two employees, and the male employee nudged the female employee with his elbow.

“Excuse me,”

The employee who had been silently serving shyly held out a pen and paper to me.

“You’re Ira from Endorphin, right? I’m a huge fan of Endorphin. Could I get your autograph here…?”

“Ah… Yes.”

Before my mind could process it, my hand automatically took the pen and paper. The male employee next to her said with a smile,

“She really loves Endorphin. She’s been a fan since their debut.”

“Ah, ah, I see. Thank you. What’s your name…?”

I wrote the name the employee told me, signed my autograph, and even shook hands. The employees bade us farewell with smiling faces, asking us to come again. I also smiled and waved. Then, stepping outside, I got into Kwon Su-han’s All-Electric Vibration Car. As I sat in the passenger seat and buckled my seatbelt, he asked where my dorm was, so I told him the address.

“She really loves Endorphin. She’s been a fan since their debut.”

Haa.

“She’s been a fan since their debut.”

…Huu… It felt like the air in the car was thinning.

“Ira.”

My vision blurred.

“Hey. Ira.”

It’s hard to breathe…

“Snap out of it.”

Gasp.

Suddenly, I could breathe. I blinked. I realized Kwon Su-han had calmed me with his aura.

“Ah, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I get carsick.”

“Why suddenly like this?”

“Ah… carsickness.”

「The yakgwa is on the house.」

“……Ugh.”

An unbearable wave of nausea rose. As I covered my mouth and gagged, Kwon Su-han clicked his tongue.

“It’s okay. Throw it up.”

Kwon Su-han patiently soothed me as I vomited what I had eaten onto the car seat of his expensive car, and gently patted my back.

It’s scary. That yakgwa, perhaps it’s sikhye. Or maybe it’s an extra bowl of rice. Endorphin’s fans are everywhere. I almost got caught twice today and yet I let my guard down again. My heart thumped.

“Ira.”

I snapped to attention. Kwon Su-han gave me a wet wipe to clean my mouth.

“Thank… you.”

My voice trembled uncontrollably. By then, the car was pulled over to the shoulder, and the windows were open.

“I’ve caused an inconvenience. The seat… I’ll pay for the seat.”

“…Your condition is more serious than I thought.”

I raised my head and looked at him. The emotion on his cold face was different from what I expected. It wasn’t pity or a knowing smirk, but worry.

“I’m okay.”

“Let’s get out. I’ll call a taxi.”

Kwon Su-han approached. He was unhesitating with someone who had just vomited. He unbuckled my seatbelt and opened the car door on my side.

Feeling the cool breeze outside made me feel a little better. I hadn’t realized, but we were on a bridge crossing the Ibitic River. I leaned against the transparent railing, taller than me, and looked down at the river. Under the moonlight, the river sparkled sadly.

As I stood there in the cold wind, I came to my senses. I became aware of what kind of behavior I had just displayed. Kwon Su-han quietly approached my side. He looked at the sky on the opposite side from me.

“Do these things happen often?”

“What things?”

“Eating well, then vomiting when you hear a fan gave it to you.”

“…Usually, I don’t eat it at all.”

Just in case, I added.

“I know there really isn’t any poison in it. I know you won’t believe me after I just vomited, but there’s a chance you might eat that yakgwa too, so they wouldn’t put poison in it.”

“Knowing that, why?”

“I don’t know. My stomach just gets upset when I’m told a fan gave it to me.”

Kwon Su-han calmly took a deep breath. He seemed to be holding back his anger. I also had enough sense to know that the target of his anger wasn’t me. It was only our second meeting, but my impression of Kwon Su-han changed.

“You’re afraid of fans.”

“Of course. They hate me. Just today’s incident alone,”

I was about to speak, but stopped, thinking it wasn’t something I necessarily needed to say in front of him. But Kwon Su-han caught on to what I was trying to say.

“If you mean today’s incident, are you talking about the Windy Shoes?”

“…Yes. I think an Endorphin fan broke it. A fan came backstage.”

I told him about the staff and the schoolgirl. Everything from the Apple Juice to the Windy Shoes.

As I spoke, I watched Kwon Su-han’s expression, and he was listening calmly and carefully. Somehow, that made me feel relieved.

“Actually, I was going to ask you about this today. To your brother.”

I took out the Apple Juice from my jacket pocket. It was the Apple Juice that the staff member’s younger sister had given, insisting Ira Oppa had to drink it.

“I want to know what’s in it.”

“…Alright. It’ll take a few days.”

“Yes, thank you.”

I know why I’m entrusting this to the National Forensic Service. I hope it doesn’t contain poison. There’s some reason, unknown to me, why ‘Ira’ specifically, not Jae-yi, has to consume it, and I want confirmation that there isn’t actually any poison.

However, in some part of my heart, I also want confirmation that it does contain poison. I’m sick of the uncertainty that tightens its grip on my daily life.

I don’t know my own feelings well. Everything is just confusing and scary. The reality that someone is trying to kill me is getting heavier and heavier. I thought I had gotten used to it… it should only be heavy enough for me to handle.

Kwon Su-han said nothing else after that, and I just watched the Ibitic River’s ripples. A little later, the taxi Kwon Su-han had called arrived; it was a limousine taxi. Kwon Su-han only let me get in.

“When will you have time next?”

“It’s the second week of our comeback, so I’m busy. Aren’t you busy too?”

“I can adjust to you.”

“I’ll ask my manager and contact you.”

Kwon Su-han nodded and closed the door for me. I made a mess of the car, how will he clean that up? I’m worried.