ID Chapter 32

The first call came from Jae-yi. Jae-yi’s voice was hoarse as he kept apologizing, then asked if I was at the Adapter-Exclusive Apartment now. He seemed to want to see me. In fact, I also wanted to see that little brat, Jae-yi, so we decided to meet briefly in the evening.

When I went into the living room, Kwon Su-han, who was on the phone with someone along with Kwon Jin-ho, noticed my gaze. He paused his call and mouthed, “Why?”

“I’m going to meet Jae-yi for a bit later. We broke up so suddenly yesterday, and he probably has a lot of questions about this explanation…”

Kwon Su-han raised one eyebrow briefly and said, “If you meet outside, you’ll draw a lot of attention. Just tell him to come to the house.”

“Can I really do that?”

“Please do.”

Haha… I laughed and sent Jae-yi the home address Kwon Su-han told me.

Calls poured in, but I couldn’t answer them all. I only answered the members’ calls first. The members’ reactions were similar to Jae-yi’s. They wanted to meet me but I didn’t tell them my location. Jae-yi probably wouldn’t bring the members with him either. As soon as Han-sae hung up the phone, he posted an angry message on SNS, directed at the company and some anti-fans. Mun and Yadan did the same.

The CEO also called. When I didn’t answer, he sent a text message.

[What are you doing? Are you serious about this?]

[How can you insult us like this?]

[Don’t you think about the company employees, members, and fans who will be harmed because of you?]

I looked at the continuous stream of messages, then went back into the living room. He must have finished his call, as he was looking at his phone screen with a cold expression. He spotted me and tried to relax his face, saying, “Why?”

I scurried over and showed him the messages.

Kwon Su-han took a screenshot, sent it to himself, and then handed my phone back.

“Don’t worry about these garbage messages. I’ll take care of everything. Have you told your family?”

“Not yet.”

“Go call them quickly.”

“Yes.”

I didn’t need to make a call. A call was already coming in.

Mom spoke without taking a breath, and after the call ended, I stood there, blinking my eyes briefly. Kwon Su-han walked into the room, saw me, and asked what was wrong. I told him the bewildering news.

“She said she just booked a flight ticket.”

“They’re coming here?”

“Yes…”

“When will they arrive? Your parents and your younger brother too?”

“Tomorrow… and my brother too.”

“Tell them the address. No, ask them for their arrival time. I’ll pick them up.”

“Okay…”

Kwon Su-han spoke as if my parents’ and Min’s arrival was perfectly normal. Is this normal…? It’s not such a big deal that they need to fly in, is it…? I felt terribly sorry for worrying my parents, but I also felt better.

After roughly finishing the call, Kwon Su-han asked if I wanted to eat. I was already hungry because the porridge I’d eaten earlier had digested too quickly.

Kwon Su-han took my wrist and sat on the sofa. He gave me a brief aura healing, and my anxious mind disappeared, leaving me feeling comfortable. After about 5 minutes of short healing, he sent Kwon Jin-ho on an errand to buy food ingredients. The main dishes were marinated beef bulgogi and japchae with bell peppers. He must have decided that my health was good enough for me to eat meat.

Kwon Jin-ho came back with his arms full of ingredients, and the two of them went into the kitchen together. As I wiggled my feet on the sofa, Kwon Su-han looked my way and said, “Aren’t you coming quickly?”

Kwon Jin-ho’s mouth dropped open in shock.

“B-brother. What, are you really heartless? Ira, please sit. Rest. We’ll do it.”

Kwon Jin-ho was practically horrified, and I pouted my lips.

“I’m so tired and exhausted… My head hurts too…”

“Kwon Jin-ho, if you don’t want to be kicked out, be quiet. Ira, come quickly and slice the bell peppers. This size.”

Kwon Su-han held up a long-sliced bell pepper to show me.

Hmph, I’m someone who’s gone through a big enough ordeal for my parents to fly in, you know? Does he really have to make me do chores like this? I grumbled and stood up.

Kwon Jin-ho nervously handed me a kitchen knife. His face showed how sorry he was for making me do something like this.

“Can you use a knife? Can you cut?”

“Yes, I’ve used a knife before.”

“Be careful. Don’t get hurt. Why would my brother make you do this? He’s so mean.”

These two are definitely brothers. If they weren’t, no one would dare call such a well-built man with an ice-cold face “mean.”

After slicing the bell peppers, I had to slice mushrooms and fish cakes. There were two carrots, so I put one on the cutting board, but Kwon Su-han quickly took it.

“Shouldn’t I slice the carrots? Japchae isn’t tasty without carrots.”

“I’ll slice them, you,”

Kwon Su-han looked around the kitchen. Honestly, it seemed like there was nothing else to ask me to do.

“Go watch TV.”

“Okay.”

I carefully put down the knife and washed my hands. Actually, there was a dry dishcloth, but I deliberately wiped my hands on Kwon Su-han’s apron with a brisk motion. Kwon Jin-ho was shocked a second time at that sight, but Kwon Su-han just smiled slightly and told me to stop playing around and sit down.

When I turned on the TV, an entertainment program was on. I changed channels and stopped at a home shopping broadcast. It was about getting a blender if you bought insurance. Watching the vegetables turn into juice in the blender, I suddenly felt like crying. Those vegetables seemed to be me.

If Kwon Su-han hadn’t been here, I wouldn’t have been able to do anything. If Kwon Su-han hadn’t been here, I would have done whatever the CEO told me… What kind of explanation would the CEO have given for the controversy? How would he have planned to explain the fact that an idol throws away garbage given by fans?

I also wondered what people’s reactions would be. Should I check the internet? There must be a lot of articles, so I should read them.

I pulled out my phone. I turned on the screen and went to the portal site. The very first article on the main page was titled, “Endorphin’s Ira Confesses Poisoning Attempt.”

A wave of nausea surged through me. I instinctively covered my mouth and tried to suppress it, but then remembered that I didn’t have to hold it in anymore. I ran to the bathroom, grabbed the toilet, and vomited.

Ugh… ugh…

My throat was already sore, and after vomiting, my stomach felt nauseous, my head ached, and I was a mess. Tears welled up in the corners of my eyes. After flushing the toilet, I slumped onto the cold tiled floor when I heard footsteps. Calm and steady footsteps.

“Ira.”

I wiped away my tears and stood up. I rinsed my mouth while washing my face. Kwon Su-han handed me a towel. It was a soft, fluffy towel that smelled good, as if it had just been laundered. As I rubbed my face, Kwon Su-han took it and meticulously dried my wet bangs and ears.

In the midst of that, tears again gathered in my eyes, blurring my vision.

“Damn it…”

When I cursed out of frustration, Kwon Su-han, who had been embracing my head, shoulders, hands, and essentially every place that needed warmth, chuckled softly.

“Why are you cursing?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Lately, tears just keep coming, no matter if it’s appropriate or not.”

“If you want to cry, you should cry anytime, anywhere.”

“…You know ‘낄끼빠빠’?”

“I know that much.”

Kwon Su-han very carefully lifted my bangs and gently patted the area around my eyes with the soft towel.

I leaned against Kwon Su-han as I came out of the bathroom and heard a sniffling sound from the kitchen.

Kwon Jin-ho was crouched down, wiping away tears with his apron.

“…Huk… hiccup… hiccup.”

Surely he wasn’t crying because of me? I looked up at Kwon Su-han, bewildered. Kwon Su-han had been looking at him with a disapproving expression, then felt my gaze and looked at me.

“Leave him. Such a weakling.”

“But I cried too?”

“You’re different. You’re fine.”

Kwon Su-han stroked my head. Hearing our voices, Kwon Jin-ho sprang to his feet.

“Ira, are you okay? You threw up without eating anything… huff, sniffle. Ah, please sit down and rest. Hm? Quickly. sniffle.”

Kwon Jin-ho bit his lip, trying to hold back his tears. His glasses were fogged up. The older brother was too cold, and the younger brother was too soft; it felt like they needed to be combined and then separated.

Kwon Su-han sat me down in a dining chair.

“Wait here. I’ll have it ready soon.”

I nodded. Kwon Su-han and Kwon Jin-ho resumed preparing the meal.

I couldn’t sit still, so I got up and peeked at what they were doing. Kwon Jin-ho still had tears welling up in his eyes, so he avoided me. Kwon Su-han was stir-frying thinly sliced carrots.

“Can I just have one?”

…….

Kwon Su-han silently picked up a piece with his chopsticks and put it into my mouth. I watched Kwon Su-han stir-fry all the other ingredients.

It felt much better to interfere with Kwon Su-han’s busy movements in the kitchen than to sit alone in the large living room watching TV. Even though I kept interrupting and peeking, Kwon Su-han didn’t say a word to scold me, and each time he added an ingredient, he would put a chopstick-full into my mouth too.

Not long after Kwon Jin-ho whined about not wanting to leave and was eventually ushered out, Jae-yi called to say he had arrived at the complex entrance. Kwon Su-han opened the main gate. The thought of that brat Jae-yi soon opening the front door and coming in made me too anxious to sit still.

He wouldn’t react like CEO Shin Dong-woo or Yong-jun, asking if something like this could really cause trauma, right? I trust Jae-yi. And because I trust him, I’m even more afraid.

Filled with anxiety and nervousness, I paced back and forth in the living room. Kwon Su-han watched me quietly, then spoke.

“Sit down and wait. You’re being distracting.”

“I don’t know. I’m going to drink some water.”

“I’ll pour it for you, just sit down.”

Jae-yi coming to Kwon Su-han’s house… it felt… very strange. Only belatedly did I wonder if this was okay.

“Here. Drink it slowly.”

Kwon Su-han brought me lukewarm water. I really tried to drink it slowly, but—

Ding-dong.

“Cough, cough, cough.”

The doorbell rang, making me choke badly.

“Tsk…”

“P-please, cough, go open it.”

“Calm down.”

Kwon Su-han slowly patted my back. He was the picture of slowness. In contrast, the person outside was ringing the bell with frantic urgency: ding-dong, pressed again, ding-dong, pressed again.

“Open it quickly!”

“Alright, I got it.”

As I stood in the middle of the living room, overcome with anxiety, Kwon Su-han slowly walked over and opened the door with an incredibly relaxed and unhurried demeanor. Bang! The moment the door opened, Jae-yi spotted me, his eyes wide, and rushed over.

“Ira, you! Your eyes, why are they so red? Did you cry? Did you cry?”

“No, I just choked.”

“Do you know how worried I was?”

Jae-yi grabbed my shoulders. His eyes were bloodshot, and his lips looked parched, as if they hadn’t touched a drop of water all day. Unlike his usual cynical self, all his emotions were laid bare on his face. He had no room to hide them.

I knew he would worry, but yesterday, I was so overwhelmed that I couldn’t spare a thought for Jae-yi’s anxious feelings, so I pretended not to know. I felt terribly sorry.

“That bastard Shin Dong-woo and Yong-jun kept their mouths shut, and you wouldn’t answer your phone. If you’d remained unreachable, I was going to blindly come to the Adapter-Exclusive Apartment! But then suddenly an article appeared… and that Adapter posted something like that.”

Piercing anguish permeated Jae-yi’s voice. It was in his fiery eyes, in the strained veins on the back of the hand gripping my shoulder, and in his crushed, dry lips.

“How much, I… how much.”

…….

I raised my hand and smoothed Jae-yi’s furrowed brow. Jae-yi was not one to hold back his words. He was the type who had to say everything he wanted to feel relieved, and this stuttering, unable to connect his thoughts, was a sight I’d never seen since I’d known him.

“…You, you had, something like that happen? The way you stopped sharing food at some point, how you’d get angry if we tried to touch your things, how you wouldn’t eat the Support lunchboxes given by fans… it was all because of that reason.”

“Yes, that’s right.”

I had always wanted to talk about it. Looking up at Jae-yi, who was much taller than me, gazing into his handsome face and unwavering eyes that once had shaken my heart, I opened my mouth.

“A fan’s cookie had cyanide in it. Mallang-i ate it and died, and the culprit was never caught. So, after that, I stopped eating anything given by fans.”

Ah. It’s so easy…

That my 8 months could be summarized like this… in a sentence that’s less than 30 seconds…

I felt like laughing.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you until now. You must have been frustrated not knowing why, right? That bastard CEO told me not to reveal it.”

“…Fuck… Don’t you dare say you’re sorry.”

Jae-yi’s voice was mixed with sobs. He buried his face in my shoulder. Feeling pity, I patted his back to comfort him. Then I noticed Kwon Su-han standing behind Jae-yi. His face wasn’t its usual unreadable, cold expression. His heavily furrowed brow clearly showed he was in a very bad mood, but when our eyes met, he twitched an eyebrow and quickly composed himself, which somehow put me at ease.