ID Chapter 41

“If it was this tight, you should have said something. It must have hurt.”

“No, not really…”

“The marks will probably remain for quite a while.”

“You’re not just stroking my wrist under the pretense of the marks, are you?”

Kwon Su-han’s touch seemed to gain strength for a moment, then he immediately removed his hand that was rubbing it. The arm he had placed on my shoulder followed suit. I regretted saying anything.

“I never thought such a thing.”

“Why are you reacting so passionately? I know you don’t like me.”

“It’s not that I don’t like you, it’s…”

“Then you like me?”

“…….”

“You can’t say it.”

Half out of disappointment, half in jest, I feigned sulking and continued.

“Can’t you use your Adapter abilities to make me not like you?”

“Ira. Mind control is not a topic to speak of so lightly.”

“I know. I just said it. It was a joke.”

“Don’t ever say such things, even as a joke, anywhere else. No matter what Adapter you meet, you must always be cautious, vigilant, and avoid them. You must never be alone with one.”

Kwon Su-han was speaking as if Adapters were all potential criminals. And I was his fragile, delicate younger sibling.

“You need to be a little afraid of Adapters. Soulers must always keep their distance from Adapters.”

“…Is that why you rejected me? Because I’m a Souler and you’re an Adapter…?”

I asked, looking directly into his eyes. His gaze seemed to waver slightly, but only for a moment, and he maintained a calm expression.

“Answer me. Say that you will be wary of any Adapter you encounter from now on.”

Because he knows the terrifying abilities of Adapters… if that’s why he rejected my feelings… I’d rather it be that. But the truth is, I’m probably just too inadequate to be loved.

“I’ll think about it.”

I casually blurted it out. Kwon Su-han raised one eyebrow for a moment, but then, perhaps deciding to stop nagging, or worried I might ask another difficult question, he walked ahead. The way he opened the examination room door and waited for me was still kind and gentle, but the fact that his attitude stemmed from pity made me sad.

Even after the test results came out, we were surrounded by researchers, signing autographs and taking pictures, so it was an hour later before we could leave the center. When we got outside, the sun was slowly setting. While Kwon Su-han drove the car out of the parking lot, I waited in the plaza within the center.

The sky, dyed red, was incredibly beautiful. The scent of the sunset spread in the gentle breeze. My hair swayed, and red sunlight poured through the gaps in the clouds, tickling my cheeks.

I don’t know how long it’s been since I last watched the sunset with such a relaxed heart.

Suddenly, I realized I had something to say to Kwon Su-han.

Kwon Su-han’s car soon exited the parking lot and slowly stopped in front of me. When I remained still, Kwon Su-han got out of the driver’s seat. He opened the passenger door and motioned for me to get in.

“Kwon Su-han.”

“…Why?”

He answered, holding the door. I told him what I should have said long ago.

“Thank you.”

“…….”

“It’s all thanks to you, Kwon Su-han. Truly… thank you.”

“No, it’s just finding its proper place now.”

A smile graced Kwon Su-han’s lips. His smiling figure, backlit by the reddish sunset sky, was so splendid that my heart felt like it stopped.

“You just need to keep being happy from now on. I’ll help you from behind so you can always smile like that.”

…My heart came back to life in three seconds. Why “from behind,” of all places? Can’t he help me from beside me?

I sighed and got into Kwon Su-han’s car.

On the day the culprit went to prison, I had a delicious lunch with Dad and ended up getting a severe upset stomach. Dad pricked my finger to relieve it, but I still felt queasy. Still, spending time with family, including video calls with Min and Mom at home, was very enjoyable.

Dad subtly suggested I stay overnight at the hotel, and just then, like a ghost, Kwon Su-han appeared, knocking on the hotel room door.

“It’s late. Let’s go. Father, Ira must be tired, so I’ll feed him dinner at my place.”

“No… well, I was thinking of having dinner with him.”

“Eating out isn’t good for your health. Judging by your complexion now, it seems you have an upset stomach.”

“Ahem… I even pricked his finger.”

At that, Kwon Su-han raised one eyebrow, quickly approached me, and lifted both my hands to examine them. Discovering very small marks on all five fingers, he glared coldly at Dad.

“Why did you make the child have an upset stomach and cause such injuries on his fingers?”

“I didn’t know he’d get an upset stomach… Ira ate well, too.”

“On a day like today, of course he’d get an upset stomach.”

“Well, anyway, since the child has an upset stomach, I’d like him to sleep here tonight.”

“Ira needs healing. Every single day, without fail.”

Kwon Su-han’s powerful presence was like ice, making Dad flounder. I watched them, then clung to Kwon Su-han’s arm.

“Let’s go, Hyung. I was going to go back anyway.”

Then, a fleeting smile crossed Kwon Su-han’s glacial expression, and my intuition told me.

That feeling was relief.

After returning home, I showered and went straight into the bedroom, and Kwon Su-han followed.

“Tell me if there’s anything you want to eat. It doesn’t have to be health food. I promised your father I’d feed you dinner.”

I felt like I would get an upset stomach no matter what I ate now. When I shook my head, Kwon Su-han sighed.

“If I make you uncomfortable, I’ll leave, so please just eat something. You need to eat to take your medicine.”

“I don’t want to take medicine. It’s not that you make me uncomfortable, Kwon Su-han, it’s just that what I ate with Dad earlier isn’t digesting.”

I lay in bed, responding while on my phone. Kwon Su-han looked at me silently. I felt his cool gaze. Tapping on my phone screen, I lay on my side. The sound of footsteps drew closer. I wasn’t trying to rebel, I really just felt unwell… Would he scold me? Was he going to scold me? I squeezed my eyes shut.

“…….”

Kwon Su-han pulled the blanket up to cover my chest. His kind gesture reassured me, yet my heart ached. How could I not misunderstand him like this…?

I subtly turned over. Blinking, I looked up at him. The worry that surfaced on his otherwise unreadable, calm face satisfied me. Looking down at me, he opened his mouth.

“Ira. Don’t think about the culprit anymore.”

“I’m not thinking about it… I had forgotten.”

Kwon Su-han reached out to me. Ah, I should have dodged, but I missed my chance. He brushed my bangs back and gently cupped my forehead.

I knew what he was trying to say.

That he could tell if I was lying…

Kwon Su-han sat beside me. I rubbed my face against his hand like a young animal.

The person, handcuffed and stumbling as they walked, looked incredibly small from behind.

Behind them, her parents, slightly older than mine, were wailing.

The woman’s younger brother had red, swollen eyes, and after spotting me, he glared fiercely before turning his head away first.

Many thoughts came to mind. According to the Aura User Protection Law, the culprit received a 10-year prison sentence, but it could be reduced to a maximum of 3 years if she maintained good behavior. Wouldn’t she try to get revenge on me after being released from prison?

Even during the three years she would be incarcerated, I wouldn’t be free. The thought that the culprit’s family might appear and retaliate by spraying acid if I walked down a dark street. The thought that another one of them might mingle among the fans and offer me a Cyanide Cookie.

I would probably live with this fear my entire life. I would never be able to eat food given by strangers.

Even if I forgave that person, even if that person genuinely repented. I would probably suffer for the rest of my life. What, then, would be the meaning of a prison sentence? Even if they received a fitting punishment for their crime, the scars etched into me would not disappear.

“Ira.”

As if Kwon Su-han had read my complicated thoughts, he called my name in a chiding tone.

“Now, only think about your future. Don’t keep dwelling on what’s already over.”

“Okay. I’ll try.”

“If you keep feeling unwell, should I give you some digestive medicine?”

“No. Just keep stroking me like this.”

He looked like he was about to take his hand away and get up, so I rolled my body sideways under the blanket and pressed my forehead closer to his palm.

“You don’t have a fever. Just indigestion, then.”

“…….”

“You’re getting warmer, though?”

I felt a warmth spreading from around my cheeks. Thinking about it, Kwon Su-han had rejected my feelings, yet he was so freely engaging in skinship. He was a complete bad boy. And I liked that.

“Stroke my stomach too.”

“…That’s not allowed.”

“Why… Please stroke it for me…”

I acted cute, but I was silently rejected. Kwon Su-han patted the blanket over my chest with his other hand, as if I were a baby. As if he was trying to put me to sleep.

“It feels good…”

“…….”

“I’m sorry for taking advantage of your sympathy.”

I looked up at him and smiled faintly. Kwon Su-han’s hand paused for a moment. He looked bewildered, as if he had just heard something incomprehensible.

“Sympathy…?”

“You’re pitying me, aren’t you? That’s why you’re being so nice to me.”

I narrowed my eyes, looking at his frozen face.

“No? Then… do you like me? Are you being nice to me because you like me?”

“…Of course I like you, but it’s not the kind of feeling where I’d try to make something happen.”

He wore a troubled expression, but he didn’t pull his hand away. His inability to speak gave me a hunch. This hunch was the intuition that had been lingering in my mind since last time.

I tried one more time.

“I’m sorry. There’s no way you’d like someone like me.”

“I told you not to say things like that! Don’t belittle yourself…”

See? It hit the mark perfectly, so I quickly sat upright.

Ugh…

I stood up too quickly, causing my head to spin and my vision to blur. Even amidst that, Kwon Su-han quickly grasped my waist firmly and supported me. I leaned my back against his arm to prevent him from taking his hand away again.

“Are you okay? I’m sorry for raising my voice.”

“It’s okay. Kwon Su-han, listen. Is it really okay with you if I go to someone else?”

Nestled in Kwon Su-han’s arms, I tilted my head up at him, at what I’d researched to be the cutest angle for a professional idol.

“Would you be perfectly fine if someone else stroked my head, supported me like this, held me in their arms, kissed me, slept with me, and even lived in their house? Would it be okay if I acted cute while being held in their arms?”

I felt the hand holding my waist tighten. With each thing I said, Kwon Su-han’s eyebrows twitched, expressing extreme displeasure. But he said words that were the exact opposite of the emotions conveyed by his expression and actions.

“What I feel doesn’t matter. That’s for me to deal with. You just focus on who you truly like.”

It sounded so considerate, warm, and like he was only thinking of me, but in the end, he was rejecting my confession. Was my hunch wrong?

“But I like you. Truly…”

“You don’t like me; it’s just an attraction you feel towards an Adapter during the healing process.”

“Even if you are an Adapter, Kwon Su-han…”

I forced a smile.

“Do you know my feelings better than I do?”

At that, Kwon Su-han fell silent. I was even more surprised by his composure-lost face. My eyes widened.

I hit the nail on the head, didn’t I?

Right? Isn’t that right? You were just hit squarely, weren’t you?

I had more I wanted to say, but I was afraid of getting a different answer, so I couldn’t open my mouth. He quickly reverted to his calm expression, ultimately choosing to evade.

“You’re tired, and I’ve been in here too long. Go to sleep. Or do you want something to eat before you sleep?”

“Mister, aren’t you making it too obvious you’re running away?”

“…….”

Kwon Su-han, unconcerned by my complaints, carefully laid me down. While I continued my ‘gaze attack,’ he pulled the blanket back up to my chest and neatly folded my hands on my upper stomach. He also gently picked up the phone I’d tossed aside and placed it on the bedside table.

“Good night, Ira.”

Kwon Su-han couldn’t even meet my eyes, said goodnight to himself, and left.

In the darkened room, I lay awake for a long time, my eyes wide open.

What was that… How was I supposed to sleep now…?