FWP Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Wanderer’s Speculation

Chapter 4: Wanderer’s Speculation

After finishing the song, Li Tinglin plopped down next to Wanderer. He was passionate and bold while singing, but after coming offstage, he put on a somewhat distant and polite demeanor. He first exchanged backgrounds with Wanderer. Li Tinglin was in the same school as Zhou Zhao and had a straight-line tattoo on his tanned arm.

He casually joked about Zhou Zhao ripping off the newcomers, “This store only sells about ten pots of Tieguanyin tea a year, half of which you bought,” he looked at Wanderer, “and the other half you bought.” He pointed at Zhou Zhao with a grin.

Wanderer subtly covered his nose. Li Tinglin had been drinking, and he still had a damp perfume smell on him.

Li Tinglin chuckled and tried to snuggle into Wanderer’s arms. He was about the same height as Wanderer, but he was better fed and much broader. It was like a swallow flying into the forest, creating a scene of demolition and destruction. Wanderer nervously spread his arms, trying to make room for Li Tinglin.

He knew Zhou Zhao was on his left, but he didn’t want to get too close to Zhou Zhao, so he stood stiffly, allowing Li Tinglin to hug him fully.

Zhou Zhao switched places with Wanderer, letting Li Tinglin lean against him. He patted Li Tinglin’s thigh and scolded, “Damn it, sit up straight. If you keep being clingy, I’ll tell Youlemei.”

That clock appeared again, still brought out by Zhou Zhao. At this moment, it was buzzing in Wanderer’s ear, shaking him to his core.

Yu Zipei, Yu Zipei. Zhou Zhao’s childhood sweetheart, Zhou Zhao’s first love. They shared a chaotic and ignorant childhood, idly wandering through a painful adolescence. The millennial generation grew up. They were as solid as a rock and shut others out.

Li Tinglin poked his head out from behind Zhou Zhao. He squinted his eyes and sized up Wanderer for a while, “You too, right? Right?”

Zhou Zhao nudged Li Tinglin’s jaw, “Is your mom ‘you too’? Can you sit up straight?” He explained to Wanderer, “Li Lin isn’t usually like this. He’s not usually this annoying.”

Wanderer forced a smile, “Isn’t he called Li Tinglin?”

“Hey, isn’t Li Lin just a faster pronunciation of it? Are you going to sing?”

Wanderer shook his head. The karaoke room switched to a female singer. Her smoky voice made the disco ball spin slower, as if a breath would fill your brain with bitter love stories. Zhou Zhao’s friends were all very unique.

After it ended, Li Tinglin sobered up and clamored to go eat mint shaved ice. Zhou Zhao paid the bill and picked out two breath mints from the counter at the front desk. He gave one to Wanderer and asked if he wanted to go. Wanderer shook his head. Zhou Zhao said, “Yu Zipei is out of class. Do you want to hang out with her? She’s great at playing cards. I’ll take you for a ride.”

At this time, it was completely dark, and a few stars hung thinly in the sky. Wanderer tried very hard to see where the moon was. His throat was full of the fragrance of Tieguanyin tea, and his teeth were biting his lip. He felt like he was trembling. Can’t get any closer. This is enough.

In the winter, it snowed heavily in Beijing. Wanderer and his roommate went to get hot water, and they discussed the division of labor for their group project. Wanderer was no longer a pushover, occasionally refusing unreasonable requests. His roommate’s family was in Beijing, and he invited Wanderer to his home to work on the project together on the weekend. Wanderer didn’t want to refuse, so he tidied up his desk in the dormitory. Suddenly, his phone chimed.

Zhou Zhao.

After the summer, they only went out to play briefly twice, with Li Tinglin and Yu Zipei attending once each.

Wanderer adapted to everything in the new environment. He followed Zhou Zhao’s blog, witnessing Zhou Zhao’s rise as he joined the internet boom of 2008. He learned to comment on new things like Zhou Zhao did. He learned about the world through Zhou Zhao’s eyes: the snow disaster in southern China, with nearly a million people stranded on their way home; the 5.12 Wenchuan earthquake; Yang Yongxin’s electroshock therapy; iPhone dominating the Chinese mobile phone sales charts; this year, Singles’ Day shed its single meaning and officially transformed into a crazy shopping festival to boost the economy. He saw Zhou Zhao forwarding screenshots of TV dramas, with the caption “So cringy it’s scorching.” He spent three days’ worth of meal money to see the movie that Zhou Zhao repeatedly recommended.

After coming out of the movie theater, Wanderer borrowed a cigarette and clumsily imitated Li Mi in the movie to smoke.

It was his first time smoking, but he finished it smoothly. He didn’t cough or shed tears. Like a veteran, he stood with many people in the open space outside the cinema, talking about stories and characters.

Wanderer listened and made a decision. He had to live his life well, to live it in a way that surpassed everyone else.

“Hello?”

/

Wanderer is seriously distancing himself from me.

I can feel it.

At No. 16 High School, on a hot afternoon before the college entrance examination, Wanderer and I went to the convenience store to buy water. Actually, only I bought water; he was just accompanying me. Wanderer had a dark green thermos. His grandmother gave him licorice and honeysuckle in the winter and switched to mint leaves and luo han guo in the summer.

The convenience store owner’s son went swimming with his classmates last week and drowned in the river. The owner had no heart to run the store, and the shelves only had mineral water and unsold Yingyang Kuai Xian [Nutrient Express drinks]. Wanderer told me that the owner lived next door to his house and his son used to practice the flute every morning. He hasn’t been practicing recently.

Wanderer’s third mock exam scores weren’t ideal. He often sat in Chinese class, staring motionlessly at the physics paper. At the end of class, his head was covered with a thin layer of white chalk dust. I bought two bottles of water, one for Wanderer. He didn’t complain, grabbed the bottle, and hesitated, “If I don’t get into a school near your house, will you still hang out with me?”

I thought for a few seconds, “Probably not. After all, geographical distance is difficult to overcome, just like Youlemei and me. If we hadn’t agreed to take the same college entrance exam, we might have already broken up.”

Wanderer said “Oh.” He twisted open the bottle cap forcefully and took a hurried sip of water. The plastic bottle creaked in his hand. “Then, then you guys already agreed to go to the same university, right?”

“Yeah. You need to hurry up. We can still study and play together.”

Wanderer stared at the shadows on the ground. We were going upstairs with the crowd. The green railing was rusty, only the frequently touched spots at the corners were shiny. Wanderer lightly touched it. There was still chalk dust on his temples. An old soul has a young face.

When the admission notice was delivered to his house, Wanderer sent me a message. He naively kept our promise and said that we could study and play together in the future.

I invited him to sing karaoke. He seemed very happy, but Li Tinglin said that Wanderer didn’t really like hanging out with us.

He told me to pay attention to Wanderer’s eyes. When we were sitting together, Wanderer was shy and only looked at me, but when I wasn’t there, and he was with my friends, Wanderer’s eyes would drift.

Li Tinglin scratched his belly like a rogue, “Zhou, this time you can’t use the same tricks as before, herding all your friends from each stage of your life together for a big reunion. People aren’t sheep.”

He used “wood ash” to describe Wanderer.

I asked Youlemei, “Why wood ash?” Youlemei had one hand under the nail lamp. She was chewing dried figs and asked curiously, “Wood ash? Who is that?”

“It’s the friend we had barbecue with last time.” I tapped Youlemei’s leg, which was resting on me. She made a “Whoa–him” sound. Youlemei liked to read palms. She didn’t remember people, but she could remember their palms. Wanderer was the one with a good career, possibly no children in the future, and a very short lifeline.

“Then do you think it’s possible to become friends with him?”

Youlemei switched hands under the lamp, “Probably not, it doesn’t feel like we’re on the same path. But aren’t you guys very close?”

I hesitated. Once, Wanderer and I were very close, but relationships need to be maintained, right? Wanderer resisted maintaining our relationship. He might have made new friends.

Youlemei suggested I call Wanderer and ask him to hang out. Youlemei has never said anything nice, but this sentence was actually useful.

I walked into the room to call Wanderer. It was snowing outside the window, and my novel from last night was still on the radiator. I took the novel down, held the warm cover, and heard the phone connect.

Wanderer’s voice was a little hoarse. I hadn’t spoken to Wanderer in almost a month, but I still cared for him.

“How’s life been lately?”

“Pretty good, how about you?”

“Same old, same old. Don’t you have class today?”

“Today is Friday, I only have class in the morning.”

I rubbed my palms. It was too hot in the room, and I was sweating. “Um, um, Wanderer…”

Wanderer turned a page of a book. I heard someone whispering to him, “Who is it?” Wanderer whispered, “A high school classmate.”

Oh, a high school classmate. That’s right. But I usually introduce Wanderer as, “My only friend from No. 16 High School.”

Since answering the other person’s question, Wanderer’s voice became much quieter. He never liked disturbing others.

“What is it?”

I was leaning against the table before, but now I sat down and said to Wanderer, “Shichahai is frozen over these days. Let’s go skating this weekend.”

Wanderer said, “I’m going to my friend’s house to do homework this weekend.”

Oh, so they’re friends. I, an ordinary classmate, have nothing to say.

I was a little angry, but I couldn’t play the same childish games with Wanderer like I did in high school anymore.

He used to be so funny. When I raised my voice, his eyes would widen. When I lowered my voice, he would squint his eyes, looking very docile.

Wanderer was very aware of being a voice-controlled doll.

/

Zhou Zhao seems to really want to go ice skating.

Wanderer propped up his chin, staring at Zhou Zhao’s phone number on the screen. His roommate sat next to him, craning his neck to hear something. Wanderer was a little annoyed by him. He should have gone out to make the call, so he wouldn’t have had to introduce “friend” to Zhou Zhao. Wanderer clearly distinguished between classmates and friends. His roommate was a level below both, but his roommate was petty. If he said the word “roommate” in front of him, half of their group project would be ruined.

“Ouyang, don’t you have your own chair?” Wanderer glanced at his roommate’s head getting closer and closer, and flipped his phone over.

Ouyang laughed, “I’m just concerned about you. Your classmate is concerned about you, I should be even more concerned about you.” He slept in the upper bunk above Wanderer and would secretly peek down at Wanderer at night. This male student from the South exuded a strange aura. He didn’t like to talk, had very strong opinions, and when Ouyang chatted with him, he could sense that this person had great ambition. There were many ambitious people, but an ambitious person who kept their ambitions hidden was an exception.

Over time, Wanderer became more and more twisted, and Ouyang liked to stick around him more and more.

On Saturday morning, Wanderer and Ouyang entered a garden house. Ouyang opened the refrigerator, letting him choose from the dazzling array of drinks. Wanderer took the brand of mineral water that Zhou Zhao liked to drink. They discussed the group project in the sunny living room. Wanderer was fully engaged and quickly came up with a preliminary outline. At night, Wanderer rushed back to school on the last subway. He and Ouyang made great progress today, so he didn’t have to go again tomorrow.

Zhou Zhao received Wanderer’s call at half past twelve. Wanderer was breathless, as if he had been running for a long time. His naive tone returned to his body, “Hello, I’m free tomorrow, do you still want to go skating?”