AM Chapter 13

13 Self-Destruction

Chen Mo had thought about dying before. He’d thought about it four years ago when Liang Jingren opened that door at the internet cafe and told him to leave.

He wondered: If I die, will Liang Jingren remember me for the rest of his life?

If I die, will Liang Jingren regret it? Regret locking me up and forcing me to admit my mistakes, regret kicking me and slapping my face, regret forgetting his birthday that night and going to a social engagement and getting drunk.

He fantasized about Liang Jingren repenting at his grave, repenting that his attitude towards him was too harsh in the beginning.

But the Liang Jingren in reality shattered his fantasy as soon as he opened his mouth. Chen Mo knew what kind of person Liang Jingren was. He might regret, but he would never repent to him.

— People who have done nothing wrong don’t need to repent.

Chen Mo had always known that he was the one who did wrong, just as he had known since he was a child that “lying is wrong,” but he still lied to protect himself without blushing or skipping a beat after making mistakes.

It was impossible for him to admit his mistakes to Liang Jingren; he might as well die.

But he was afraid of death.

Afraid of death and afraid of Liang Jingren’s combination of kindness and force, he chose to escape.

As a result… did his silent resistance lead to this outcome?

After coming out of the law firm, Liang Jingren handed him one of the file bags containing the agreement. Chen Mo quietly took it.

Liang Jingren said that the file bag also contained information about two jobs he had chosen for him, and asked him to review them when he got back, consider them carefully, and then choose the one he liked to go to for a field visit and interview.

Next to the law firm was a small green park, with dense grass and trees and few pedestrians, making it particularly quiet.

“It’s called an interview, but it’s actually just a formality. The employees who are about to join the company always have to understand the situation with the company. Of course, you can still strive for a higher salary based on your strength. I think the benefits currently provided by these two positions are good, and there is also a lot of room for development in the respective companies and fields,” Liang Jingren said as he walked.

Chen Mo listened silently. When Liang Jingren was almost done talking, he said, “What if I don’t like either of the two jobs?”

Liang Jingren stopped, turned to look at him, and said earnestly, “Don’t be picky. If you don’t like them, then find them yourself, until you find one you like.” After speaking, he continued to walk forward.

“So troublesome…” Chen Mo complained softly.

Liang Jingren probably heard it, but he wasn’t angry. Instead, he changed to a gentle tone and said, “You can do it first. Just treat it as gaining experience. If it really doesn’t work and you can’t continue, I will continue to help you find it.”

Such gentle words did not make Chen Mo happy or grateful. He only felt disgusted and nauseous.

“Oh, right, it seems that there is still a job description that is not in the file bag. Shen Qing Bro recommended it. The salary is very high, probably the highest of these, but it’s a bit far from your apartment. I’ll send it to you later. If you want to go but find the commute troublesome, you can consider renting a house over there. I can also help you put your apartment up for rent, so that the income and expenses are balanced…”

“Then, where do I live before I find a house?”

“Huh?”

“I said, I’ve decided to try the one with the higher salary,” Chen Mo said.

Liang Jingren nodded, seemingly approving of his ambition. “Okay, then you can live in the Villa first. Anyway, moving takes time. If you want to go there to look for a house to rent, I’ll give you two more weeks to move out.”

“Okay,” Chen Mo replied.

At the same time, what he was thinking in his heart was: He only managed to get two weeks. He was really weak. He only dared to make requests to HR, but he didn’t dare to negotiate terms with Liang Jingren.

Relying on Liang Jingren’s words alone, he had roughly planned Chen Mo’s next three to five years. During this time, Chen Mo rarely spoke, as if he was listening carefully, or as if he had been distracted for a long time.

The two strolled, and were about to walk around the green park and return to the main road. Looking through the fork in the trunk of a tree, they could see the outer wall of the law firm they had just entered.

Chen Mo glanced in the direction of the law firm, weighing the weight of the file bag he had obtained in his hand. Finally, when Liang Jingren stopped his rambling, Chen Mo couldn’t help but ask:

“Why…?”

Liang Jingren didn’t understand what he wanted to ask.

That was natural. Liang Jingren had talked about so many things on his own, and he didn’t care what he was thinking at all. It wasn’t until he asked the question that Liang Jingren smiled and asked him, “What’s wrong? Ten Thousand Whys Little Prince?”

Chen Mo was a little dazed – this seemed to be the first time Liang Jingren had smiled at him today.

But, was he deliberately mocking me? Or was he subconsciously treating me like a child again?

Just thinking about this made his stomach churn again, feeling very uncomfortable.

“Uncomfortable?” Liang Jingren saw that his face was not good.

Chen Mo pursed his lips and quickened his pace forward, wanting to get away from the concerned gaze of the other party.

Chen Mo quickly walked out of the park. After leaving the shade of the tall trees, although his mood was still very bad, his vision had become clear.

Liang Jingren quickly caught up and asked, “What did you want to ask just now? Why did you run away halfway through?”

Hearing this, Chen Mo stopped. He slowly turned around and looked back at Liang Jingren.

He wanted to ask Liang Jingren why he suddenly made the decision to bring him to the law firm, and what kind of mood he had when he made this decision. But he suddenly realized – there was no need to ask.

Just as he never changed his mistakes from beginning to end, Liang Jingren also never gave up treating him like a child. The written agreement was like a game of house he was playing with him.

“Why do I like you?” Chen Mo looked at Liang Jingren and asked, “Why do I like you? Do you know?”

Faced with such two identical questions, Liang Jingren avoided his gaze.

Look, some things haven’t changed, they’re still the same as before.

“Because you probably never thought about or understood my feelings, so now I’m going to tell you…”

Chen Mo didn’t care whether Liang Jingren was looking at him or not. In short, he was going to self-destruct now. Not self-abandonment, but self-destruction. Not only that, but he also wanted to drag Liang Jingren along to explode.

“You confidently think that it’s wrong for me to mistake the trust and affection I have for you in my daily life as love, it’s wrong for you to treat me as an immature, ignorant, and ignorant child who doesn’t know the social rules, you think that it’s just a momentary impulse for me to do that kind of thing to you, and that as long as I’m severely disciplined, I’ll turn over a new leaf and start a new life…”

As he spoke, Liang Jingren lowered his head, Liang Jingren frowned, and Liang Jingren became impatient.

“What exactly do you want to say?” Liang Jingren interrupted impatiently.

Chen Mo realized how exciting the words he was about to say were. The face in front of him, which no longer showed him concern, tolerance, and pampering, suddenly became even more sexy, making his breathing become rapid:

“Huff~ Haha…”

“Ren Bro, you probably don’t know, I’ve always been horny for your body.”

“I’ve been horny since the moment you brought a woman back and started messing around on the living room couch.”

“You probably don’t remember, but I remember, that night I came across an adult film for the first time, and I succeeded in DIY for the first time, but after that, you always appeared in my dreams, always you.”

“I like your body, I like your chest and ass more than I like you being gentle and nice to me.” Chen Mo saw himself reflected so clearly in Liang Jingren’s enlarged pupils. He knew he had succeeded. Liang Jingren’s psychological defense line had been torn open. At this moment, he was so happy, so excited, soExcited.

He wanted to continue speaking, tearing open the gap and the truth hidden beneath it completely — “I know you like my body too.”

“That night, you wrapped one leg around me, and you used both hands, which I don’t know when you freed from your shirt, to hug me tightly.”

“You don’t know how excited I was, I kept hearing you panting…”

“You even pinched the back of my neck and told me to use more force!”

“It was just like a pervert, haha…”

~~~

At the same time as the phone rang, Chen Mo’s eyes suddenly flashed white.

The pain was slightly late – he was indeed slapped by Liang Jingren again.

Chen Mo had expected such a result. He even felt very happy.

Chen Mo knew that he had said so many things that Liang Jingren didn’t want to hear, and Liang Jingren would definitely not let him go. It was inevitable that he would be beaten up. Therefore, he subconsciously raised his hand, preparing to use the file bag in his hand to block the second round of attacks.

However, the imagined punches and kicks did not arrive as expected.

Liang Jingren chose to answer the phone.

Should it be said that this phone call saved him? Chen Mo’s little heart was pounding wildly in his chest. He stared closely at the face of the person who had turned to answer the phone, observing every subtle change in expression on that face.

Then Chen Mo discovered: So I don’t just like his body, I also like his face.

He didn’t know who the person on the phone was or what they said, but it was able to add a layer of surprise, confusion, and worry to Liang Jingren’s face, which was as gloomy as a prelude to a storm.

“I’m going over now. Send me the location.”

After hanging up the phone, Liang Jingren frowned tightly, and while fumbling in his pocket for the car keys, he strode quickly towards the roadside where he had parked.

As for the person who had just talked nonsense and been slapped by him, he seemed to have forgotten about him.

Of course, Chen Mo realized that he was being ignored and was about to be dumped when he ran towards the car. Chen Mo quickly chased after him, but Liang Jingren didn’t give him a chance to get in the car at all.

On the side of the road, Chen Mo stared blankly at the license plate number that was speeding away. For a moment, his head was empty and he lost the ability to think.

After his legs and feet slowly began to move, and after being washed by the breeze stroking the red and swollen wound on his face, Chen Mo gradually regained his intelligence.

He couldn’t believe it – Liang Jingren actually left him behind – he said those words, and even prepared himself with the determination to fight to the death, but Liang Jingren just ignored him so easily… and left?

Was the truth not stimulating enough? It was rare for him to tell the truth once!

Or was the person on the phone much, much more important than him?!

His footsteps began to take big steps. Although he didn’t know which direction he was heading in, or whether it was exactly the opposite of the way home, Chen Mo still gritted his teeth and walked forward step by step.

He had no turning back.

As reason returned, Chen Mo thought sadly: What home? He might not even be able to enter the Villa tonight, and Liang Jingren might even throw his suitcase, tablet, and computer out from the third floor.

This suddenly reminded him of Lucas’s phone that he had thrown out from the fourth floor – how innocent.

He didn’t know how long he had been walking aimlessly, or how many blocks he had passed, when suddenly, a clear male voice stopped him:

“Hey, are you okay? You seem to be having a nosebleed?”

Chen Mo was dazed for a moment, then raised his arm to wipe under his nose. Looking at it again, he really had a lot of blood.

Turning his head to look, wow, his nosebleed had been dripping on the road drop by drop without him realizing it, forming a dotted line.

“You stand here and wait! I’ll go get some tissues!” That male voice appeared again. Chen Mo raised his head and turned to look. A male figure with a bow tied on his back hurriedly ran into the flower shop next to him.