AM Chapter 39

39 Unforgiven

After the hand constricting his neck loosened, Chen Mo, who had been standing on tiptoe, went weak in the legs, and he fell straight down, kneeling on the ground.

The person in front of him trembled, raising his bruised arms and staggering back two steps, looking utterly lost.

Then, Chen Mo’s upper body slumped forward, and he lowered his head, supporting himself on the ground with both hands, gasping for breath.

“Cough!! Ha… Huff… Cough cough! Cough cough cough! Ha… Cough cough!!” Even after repeatedly pounding his chest and scratching at his neck, he still couldn’t fully recover for a while, and even breathing was painful.

However, there was an idle person watching the show for free beside them, “Liang Jingren…” that person called out worriedly.

Hearing returned first, but Chen Mo didn’t want to hear that person’s voice. Fortunately, Liang Jingren chased him away: “Leave.”

“But you…”

“Go.”

The villa gate closed heavily in the sound of the rain, and Chen Mo immediately felt his breathing become easier.

Not long after, Liang Jingren’s figure approached him again. By this time, his blurred vision had gradually cleared, but physiological tears were still streaming down his face.

Perhaps it wasn’t just physiological tears.

Chen Mo propped himself up and moved his knees closer to the person who had almost accidentally choked him to death, “Jing… Jingren Bro, cough… I’m so… cough cough! Sor… cough! Sorry!”

He was about to hug Liang Jingren’s waist and legs with both hands, but Liang Jingren grabbed his arm and dragged him up by his armpits.

“Can you walk? Do you want me to carry you?” Liang Jingren asked, draping Chen Mo’s arm over his shoulder.

Chen Mo had a tear still sliding down his cheek. He blankly turned his head and blankly nodded.

Liang Jingren didn’t ask any more questions. He simply switched hands to adjust his posture and, in one breath, lifted the young man in front of him, who was about the same height, into a horizontal carry.

Chen Mo was startled and instinctively closed his eyes, clutching at anything he could grab in front of him.

When he opened his eyes again, Liang Jingren was already carrying him up the stairs.

Chen Mo carefully glanced sideways, trying to see Liang Jingren’s expression, but the angle made it impossible. His head was almost higher than Liang Jingren’s ears. However, he was being held very steadily, and even though Liang Jingren was going upstairs, he wasn’t worried about falling at all, unless Liang Jingren did it on purpose.

At this moment, what he could see most clearly by looking down was Liang Jingren’s right ear, the earlobe red, whether from the effort he was exerting or from the anger that hadn’t dissipated from what had just happened.

Just now… Liang Jingren was very angry…

All because of himself…

Did Liang Jingren hear his apology just now? Probably not, since his breathing was unsteady and his voice was hoarse…

“Cough cough! I’m sorry… Wuwu… Sor cough!… Sorry wuuu…” It was the same even if he spoke now, especially since it was mixed with sobbing, making it even more unpleasant.

Moreover, coughing in Liang Jingren’s ear like this, Liang Jingren was very likely to drop him. Chen Mo was mentally prepared, but all he could do was hold onto Liang Jingren’s neck tightly while also pressing his own neck close to his.

Liang Jingren didn’t respond to him.

As expected.

Liang Jingren didn’t throw him down, but steadily carried him into the room on the third floor and slowly sat him down on the edge of the bed.

Chen Mo felt that it shouldn’t be like this.

He shouldn’t receive such gentle treatment – when Liang Jingren strangled his neck, he truly hated him, hated him to the point of wanting him dead.

At the thought of Liang Jingren hating him, Chen Mo couldn’t help crying and apologizing again.

Liang Jingren half-squatted in front of him and raised a hand that he had used to strangle him not long ago. Chen Mo looked into his eyes through tear-filled eyes.

In Liang Jingren’s eyes, he saw himself, saw a hand carefully examining the marks on his neck, but he couldn’t see what kind of mood Liang Jingren was looking at him with.

Anyway, it definitely wasn’t happiness. Liang Jingren’s happiness was always undisguised. He would laugh when he heard something funny, and he would laugh even when he was speechless. But at this moment, there wasn’t a trace of a smile on Liang Jingren’s face.

If he had really been strangled to death by him, would he laugh? Chen Mo suddenly thought.

If… he was willing to be strangled to death by him, would he laugh?

Thinking this, Chen Mo kept his gaze fixed on the person in front of him, only moving his own hands to grab Liang Jingren’s hand that was lightly touching his neck, spreading his fingers open so that his scalding palm was pressed against his Adam’s apple.

“Jingren Bro…” His throat trembled as he spoke under the slight, rough pressure.

But Liang Jingren immediately pulled his hand away.

He stood up and said, “I’ll go downstairs to get the first-aid kit.”

Chen Mo suddenly lunged forward, tightly grabbing the hand he had withdrawn, “No cough cough! No need!”

Liang Jingren looked back at him, opened his mouth, and said, “Then I’ll go get you some water.”

Chen Mo knew he couldn’t keep him, pursed his lips, and let go.

Leather shoes with water stains walked across the clean room, leaving a few dirty footprints on the originally spotless wooden floor. Chen Mo slid off the edge of the bed and sat on the floor, on the same level as the dirt.

In less than five minutes, Liang Jingren, having changed into his familiar blue slippers, came upstairs with a glass of water and a pot of hot water he had fetched from the water dispenser.

Seeing Chen Mo sitting on the floor, he walked over, put the water on the bedside table, and then turned to squat down in front of Chen Mo, saying, “Your bath towel and old clothes are still in the same place. Go take a hot shower.”

But Chen Mo seemed to have become capable of saying only one sentence, looking up at him and saying, “I’m sorry…”

From this time he said the words “I’m sorry,” Liang Jingren could sense that his breathing and emotions had stabilized a lot.

But Liang Jingren’s mood was as unfathomable as a deep ocean trench, only the surface looked calm, like the sea under a blue sky.

“What do you want me to answer?” It could be seen from his questioning that it was devoid of tone and expression.

His question stunned Chen Mo, who had been repeatedly apologizing.

“Am I to forgive you, or not forgive you?” Liang Jingren asked indifferently.

If forgiveness meant forgetting the past, completely erasing the memory of that night four years ago, then it was better not to be forgiven. Chen Mo’s thoughts and insistence, no matter how “obedient” he became, would remain consistent to the end: I do not seek your forgiveness.

From Chen Mo’s slightly open mouth, which didn’t make any sound, Liang Jingren already knew the answer.

He silently, lengthily, and helplessly sighed.

At this moment, Chen Mo’s empty mouth, seeming dry and bitter, spoke:

“I love you.”

If forgiveness meant forgetting, it also meant that Liang Jingren would forget the words he had whispered in his ear over and over again when his face was flushed red.

“Jingren Bro, I love you.”

He didn’t want Liang Jingren to forget. He wanted Liang Jingren to remember it for the rest of his life.

Even in death, he wanted Liang Jingren to remember him for the rest of his life.

In that case, dying at Liang Jingren’s hands was indeed a good choice. That way, he definitely wouldn’t be able to forget him.

Just as Chen Mo took a deep breath, eager to speak again, Liang Jingren covered his mouth.

“I know,” Liang Jingren said.

Chen Mo blinked his eyes. In an instant, tears that seemed to come from nowhere burst their banks again, flowing down in a torrent, even flowing onto Liang Jingren’s hand.

Chen Mo remembered that the last time Liang Jingren had said “I know” in such a flat tone, he had taken him to sign the “Agreement to Terminate Adoption Relationship.” He was scared.

The sound of crying grew from small to large, gradually spreading in the overly empty room.

“Tsk, why are you crying again? Damn it, I haven’t even forgiven you yet…” Liang Jingren frowned, his emotions finally stirring, but unfortunately, mostly bad emotions took over, and he cursed repeatedly in a low voice.

However, he didn’t vent his anger on the person who was crying in front of him. Instead, he used his hand to wipe away his tears.

“Damn it, why isn’t there a pack of tissues in this room…”

“Hey, don’t rub your eyes, are your hands clean? Can’t you pay attention to yourself… Tsk, me lecturing someone with a cleanliness obsession about hygiene, what the hell!”

“Okay, okay, don’t cry, are you hungry? I’m going to start cooking. Go take a shower first, and you can eat when you’re done…”

Liang Jingren changed his squatting posture and patiently comforted him for a long time. Chen Mo finally stopped crying, but his entire face was dirty like a cat, with two faint droplets of water still hanging on it.

“Jingren Bro, don’t forgive me, wuwuwu waa…” Chen Mo howled, grabbing his arm and crying.

Hearing this, Liang Jingren stared at him for a while, and suddenly found it a bit funny, “I told you I haven’t forgiven you, you’re crazy!”

Liang Jingren really did laugh a little. Chen Mo saw it clearly, so much so that he was directly stunned, and all his crying and sobbing stopped.

Believing that he had temporarily appeased Chen Mo, Liang Jingren patted his aching legs and stood up, preparing to leave.

He stepped on the dirty footprints on the matte wooden floor with his blue slippers and walked to the door. He turned sideways, grabbed the doorknob, and couldn’t help but look back one more time before closing the door.

He opened his mouth and said to the “spoiled big boy” who was sitting on the floor, staring at him with watery eyes:

“Stop crying.”

After Liang Jingren left, Chen Mo slowly got up. He looked down at his toes and was shocked to realize – he was also wearing shoes into the bedroom!

Then, he spent fifteen minutes cleaning the floor of the room, and another thirty minutes washing himself from head to toe.

After he dried his hair, as if on cue, as soon as the hair dryer stopped, he heard Liang Jingren calling him downstairs.

Without waiting for Liang Jingren to call him twice, Chen Mo hurriedly ran downstairs in his slippers.

Walking down the escalator from the second floor, he saw that only the dining table was clean and bright in the chaotic restaurant, and two plates of stir-fries and two bowls of rice were placed on it.

Neither of the two stir-fries were made with the ingredients he had brought. The things he had bought were scattered everywhere. Chen Mo guessed that Liang Jingren had made this meal with the vegetables that the jerk had brought that hadn’t been destroyed in the kitchen.

Although he was displeased, being able to sit at the same table with Liang Jingren again to eat dinner, and at the villa’s dining table, Chen Mo felt that today’s experience was worth it.

Liang Jingren’s sense of humor was as strange and elusive as ever: he greeted him to take a seat and start eating, and when he sat down in the chair opposite him, Liang Jingren stared at him for a while and suddenly laughed.

Chen Mo was extremely surprised and a little uneasy. He quietly asked, “Jingren Bro, is there something on my face? I looked in the mirror, and there’s nothing wrong with my face this time, it’s pretty symmetrical…”

Liang Jingren, looking somewhat tired, supported his chin on the table with one hand, trying not to laugh, and said, “Don’t you think this is like eating next to a garbage dump in a vegetable market?”

Chen Mo looked down and immediately pursed his lips. Not to mention the rotten vegetable leaves scattered all over the ground and the bags pierced by beef and chicken bones, not to mention the boneless scallops, uh, an eggshell containing half a yolk that hadn’t spilled on the ground with flies circling it… hiss… He couldn’t look anymore, or he wouldn’t be able to eat. Chen Mo shrank his feet into the chair legs.

Looking up at Liang Jingren, he was still laughing, laughing at himself.

Chen Mo turned his head back to look – a piece of vegetable leaf that was about to fall was hanging on the wall lamp directly above the back of his head.

The corners of Chen Mo’s mouth twitched slightly. But he didn’t want to stand up and take the thing down, afraid that he would step on something dirty if he turned around.

He picked up his chopsticks and poked at the white rice that had already been scooped into his bowl, and said softly, “I’m sorry.”

Liang Jingren deeply sighed and also picked up his chopsticks to start picking at the dishes, “I’m really fed up with you… How did you even think of throwing vegetables at people…”

Chen Mo swallowed a mouthful of saliva, carefully avoiding the main point, “Jingren Bro, aren’t you, aren’t you angry?”

“Angry,” Liang Jingren said, the vegetables he picked up not yet eaten. His eyelids were half-lowered, and his dark eyes were directly capturing the soul of the person across the table, “I don’t have the strength to finish this meal, you’ll wash the dishes and clean up later.”

“Here… all of it?” Chen Mo asked in a hoarse voice, “Me? Clean it all up?”

“Or what?”

“Um, can I hire a housekeeper?”