BCGWR Chapter 14 Part 1

013. Broken Jar 2

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It’s completely disorganized, but I’m so suffocated, I have to write this… I was a fan of Kang Jae-yoon, but lately, I can’t focus on anything and it’s so hard… Honestly, I’m on the verge of giving up on life… I never thought Kang Jae-yoon, an S-rank, would vanish so tragically… Does Dungeon Annihilation even make sense? I don’t know how such a messed-up situation could exist… I still can’t believe Kang Jae-yoon is gone, and my heart aches terribly when I think of Han Ji-su, alone… I lost my family too… My younger sibling and parents were all caught in a dungeon break during the Cataclysm, and we couldn’t even find their bodies… On their birthdays, I take the sleeping pills I’ve been prescribed and just sleep all day… Lately, honestly, all I can think about is dying… If I, just a fan, am this heartbroken, how hard must it be for Han Ji-su? Thinking of Han Ji-su makes me think of my own family, and my insides feel like they’re burning up… All I can think these days is, damn, I miss my mom, dad, and sibling. I can’t even watch the news; it’s all just talk about Kang Jae-yoon and Han Ji-su, and these trash reporters are infuriating, and I’m just so furious that the world has changed like this… But I’m most angry at myself… It’s already been five years, and I still can’t get over it. Every time I see news like this, I cry like an idiot, and the next day I drag myself to work just to survive, can’t focus, constantly mess up, and get chewed out by my damn boss. I know it’s pathetic, but just seeing it makes me feel like ending it all…

[Comments]

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┖Comment: You’ll live like that your whole life, you bastard.

┖What’s a dungeon break doing, not tearing through that scumbag’s house?

Writer, hang in there ㅠ. My father died during the Cataclysm too, and it was so hard that I feel like I can relate… It must be incredibly difficult, but I hope you can find strength. I recommend not using social media or watching the news for a while…

Writer, don’t blame yourself, it’s natural to be struggling. A lot of people lost family during the Cataclysm, right? I did too. So honestly, I thought I’d be okay after five years, but I still cry very often missing my older sister and friends. The longing doesn’t care about time. Don’t blame yourself too much, get some good sleep, and if it’s hard, definitely! Definitely! Try counseling.

┖222222222 Time doesn’t matter, writer.

┖3333 Counseling recommended. I’ve been getting counseling for five years too. For some people, time is a healer, but there are many of us who are still the same no matter how much time passes. Just because a lot of time has passed doesn’t mean you have to be okay, so please, try counseling.

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“…Ah…”

Han Ji-su, barely awake from a deep, drug-induced sleep, was convinced.

He was sure he had been tormented by terrible nightmares for the past few days. It was agonizing, enough to make him wish for death, but thankfully, he was certain he had woken up from that dreadful dream.

Otherwise, there was no way Kang Jae-yoon, who hadn’t been seen for days, would be sitting beside him.

He didn’t know how long he had slept, but his vision was hazy and dim. Moreover, it seemed to be late at night, and his surroundings were too dark to see clearly. Nevertheless, he believed the person sitting beside him was Kang Jae-yoon because of the sense of comfort he provided.

Normally, unawakened individuals or low-rank Awakened would feel a crushing pressure, as if facing a wild beast, when near an S-rank Esper due to their inherently powerful aura.

Of course, there were those who could skillfully manage their emitted aura. Kim Hyun-ah, the influential figure of the Peace Guild, and Kang Jae-yoon were such people. Both, being fond of people, always kept their power well-contained so that no one around them would feel intimidated or uncomfortable.

Since the silhouette wasn’t Kim Hyun-ah, Ji-su identified the person in front of him as Kang Jae-yoon and smiled faintly.

“…Jae-yoon Hyung…”

His voice cracked and rasped due to his parched throat. Perhaps startled by his extremely hoarse voice, the silent figure sitting beside him flinched.

He wanted to get up immediately and ask if he was okay, but he had no strength in his entire body. Realizing he had been asleep longer than he thought, Ji-su laboriously extended his hand towards him.

“…Hyung, why… why did you come so late…?”

“…”

“…Hyung… I had a really strange dream…”

“…”

“I dreamed… you couldn’t get out of the Taejongdae, Busan Dungeon… The dream was so long and vivid, I thought I was trapped in a nightmare dungeon…”

“…”

“Perhaps because it was such a long dream… it felt so real… it was terrifying…”

It wasn’t just terrifying. He wanted to say that he was afraid it might be reality, that his insides felt like they were burning up, that he almost died struggling to breathe, fearing he would never see his hyung again, but no voice came out.

Nevertheless, a wave of relief at meeting Kang Jae-yoon again washed over him, choking his throat. Han Ji-su extended his arm a little further towards the one who wasn’t holding his hand.

Then, the figure, who had been hesitant all along, gently took Han Ji-su’s hand as if telling him not to overexert himself.

But that was all. He didn’t interlace their fingers as he always used to, nor did he kiss the back of his hand.

Han Ji-su’s eyes narrowed at the indifferent reaction. Normally, Kang Jae-yoon would have told him not to worry, teasing him about what he was so worried about, and enjoying his reaction.

“…Hyung…? Why aren’t you saying anything…?”

“…”

The person holding his hand stood up and extended their other hand. As the large palm covered Ji-su’s eyes, a gentle aura flowed out. It was an aura he had never felt before. Han Ji-su wanted to ask what kind of skill this was, what he was doing, but his consciousness began to grow hazy.

“…Hyung… this… what is it…? Ugh, I still… don’t want to sleep… Don’t put me to sleep…”

“…”

The palm covering his eyes gently stroked Ji-su’s forehead. It was a gentle touch, as if telling him to sleep soundly, that everything was alright, but Ji-su didn’t want to fall asleep.

He felt that if he fell asleep now and woke up, Kang Jae-yoon would not be by his side. He was terrified that what he dismissed as a nightmare was actually reality, and this moment was a dream… that he might never see him again… so he was incredibly, incredibly scared.

Ji-su, still trying to clear his throat which felt raw and aching as if it had been sandpapered, painstakingly moved his lips to utter a sound.