BCGWR Chapter 22 Part 1

Tap- Tap- Tap-

As her fingers drummed against the desk, Kim Hyun-ah felt her head becoming so tangled that she couldn’t even tell what she should be thinking about.

The only fact she knew for now was that the halo of light had swallowed her older brother and Kang Jae-yoon.

She had no idea what the light’s true nature was, what happened to those who were swallowed, or where to even begin her investigation.

“Haa…”

Her thoughts were in disarray, and the frustrating situation naturally elicited a sigh.

And at the same time,

“Haaaaah…”

Han Ji-su, just like Kim Hyun-ah, no, with an even deeper sigh, lay face down on the bed.

‘Ugh, how embarrassing…!!!’

This was Han Ji-su’s overall assessment after reflecting on his current situation.

Jung Ha-jin kept saying it was fine, there was nothing to worry about, that anyone could be like that if they weren’t feeling well, and that he should just rest comfortably, but Han Ji-su couldn’t possibly be at peace.

It was because he was so embarrassed to have had a seizure in front of someone he had met for the first time less than 10 minutes ago.

In truth, it was nothing to be ashamed of, but having grown up under parents who, from a young age, condemned sick people, especially those sick from stress, as mentally weak, he had been conditioned, making it difficult to think positively.

As a child, that was the environment, and later, when he was older, if he got sick, he had to feel sorry for causing trouble to the team by not managing his condition. He always had to bow his head and apologize to those who moved to rectify schedules and other issues that had been disrupted because of him.

He was in a profession where, instead of resting comfortably when sick, he had to write apology letters to those who waited, expressing regret for not managing himself. So, when he became ill, he felt more embarrassed and apologetic than sad.

Having grown up and lived his entire life in such an environment, the fact that his severe stress, not an accident or physical illness, caused breathing difficulties was particularly unsettling.

‘Pathetic…’

The only ones who genuinely acknowledged his pain, comforted him, and told him it was okay were his much older brother and the Loveis members.

But now, he couldn’t meet any of them.

“…Let’s think… about something else…”

Ji-su mumbled, steadying his mind before getting caught up in past thoughts again.

Following Jung Ha-jin’s advice to focus on surrounding objects if his thoughts seemed uncontrollable, Ji-su looked at each item in his bedroom and said their names aloud.

“Drawer. Lamp. Window. Curtain. Toto’s bed…”

After listing five items, Ji-su recalled the instruction to analyze the sounds he heard next and listened attentively. Gradually, the ambient sounds registered.

“…Jung Ha-jin Esper’s chopping sound… Toto’s meddling sound…”

Thump- Thump- While Jung Ha-jin was cooking, slicing something with a knife, the constant “Jjyut- Jjyuit-!” sounds suggested Toto had much to meddle about.

Whenever Toto interfered, Jung Ha-jin would calmly scold him in a low, cavernous voice, “Alright. Is this enough? You like cucumbers, huh. If you want carrots too… I know you don’t like carrots, so don’t kick it. It’s an ingredient for cooking. Don’t subtly knock it off either. You don’t throw food like that.”

“…Hah…”

He had been told that analyzing three or more ambient sounds would help him calm down, but just listening to the conversation between the two in the kitchen was enough.

The constantly interfering Toto was funny, but Jung Ha-jin, who kept replying to Toto, was even funnier.

Listening quietly, it sounded like a comedy sketch, and he even wondered if Toto might be sitting on his head, pulling his hair, and controlling him.

Imagining the two resembling famous animated characters, Ji-su buried his face in his pillow and laughed self-deprecatingly.

‘What a sight… What a sight indeed…’

His mood was like a rollercoaster, fluctuating back and forth.

Just five seconds ago, he was annoyed, not just embarrassed, at how pathetic and sick he felt, but now, thanks to Toto and Jung Ha-jin’s conversation arguing over vegetables for the stew, he felt a little amused.

Fortunately, unlike his fluctuating mood, his breathing continued calmly.

‘Right. Let’s take it easy. What’s the point of getting annoyed…’

He turned his head slightly and looked out the window to see the sunset.

The sunset from the 65th floor looked clearer, redder, and more beautiful, perhaps because there were few buildings obstructing the view.

Ji-su, who had been admiring the sky, where clouds stretched long horizontally, adding to the picturesque scenery, was stirred by a scent and sat up.

A delicious aroma wafted from the open door. And along with the nimble chopping sound, as if mincing something, came Toto’s grumbling.

“Jjyuit!”

“The vegetables in the steamed egg won’t have much taste anyway.”

“Jjyu!”

“You’re all grown up now, eat some green onions and carrots.”

“Jjyuit! Jjyuit! Jjyut!!!”

“If you keep picking out and dropping only carrots, I’ll only give you kibble for dinner tonight.”

“Jjyu?”

Ji-su, who had been sitting on the bed, blankly staring at the bright living room visible through the open door, got up.

As he stepped out of the room, Jung Ha-jin and Toto, sensing his presence in the kitchen, simultaneously turned their heads towards him.

“Jjyuit!”

“It’s almost ready. Please sit down.”

“…Yes, thank you.”

A thought, “Is it really okay to be like this?”, subtly resurfaced within him.

The first thing Jung Ha-jin did after confirming that Ji-su had overcome his panic attack and was breathing well was to lay him on the bed.

After putting Toto down at Ji-su’s bedside, he said he was going out to buy groceries, and in less than 30 minutes, he returned with bags full of them.

Then, saying he would decide the menu himself, he started washing, trimming, and cooking various things.

Ji-su offered to help, but Jung Ha-jin firmly stated that he would handle the meals himself from now on.

And if Ji-su really wanted to help, he should lie in bed and rest comfortably. It was, in effect, an order to stay out of the kitchen.