BCGWR Chapter 7 Part 1

The Cataclysm 6

Kang Jae-yoon’s eyes widened slightly, perhaps surprised that Han Ji-su was the first to bring up the three men, but he soon replied with his usual gentle smile and affectionate tone.

“That’s right. Shin Hee-won loved green grape candy so much, he always had a bag of it in his pouch.”

“…Yeah. But I don’t like candy.”

“Right, Han Ji-su doesn’t like candy.”

“Still, I just kept taking them, and you know that bag I always carried? I kept finding them in its pocket, and when I pulled them out, there were over 30…”

“Haha. He wouldn’t have noticed even if you’d secretly put all of them in his bag.”

Han Ji-su let out a small laugh, as if agreeing, and felt a sense of relief.

He had worried about making the atmosphere gloomy if he got sad talking about his older bandmates, but since it was just small talk, he could manage it.

Of course, his chest still ached a bit, but it wasn’t the agonizing, squeezing pain he used to feel. So Han Ji-su continued, a smile on his lips.

“Actually, I once collected all the candy I received and put them all in Shin Hee-won’s bag in the middle of it. He really didn’t notice.”

“Hahahaha.”

Kang Jae-yoon burst into laughter as if he’d heard a great joke, then began, “Actually…”

“I’ve put them in his bag many times too.”

“…Pfft! Really?”

“Yeah. Only Shin Hee-won wouldn’t have known, right? That’s why Lim Jeong-jin and Yoon Ji-oh always called it the green grape candy payback.”

“Ahaha, what? Everyone knew, except for Shin Hee-won.”

“Yeah. Everyone knew except Shin Hee-won. Even the manager knew, you know.”

Han Ji-su burst into laughter at the phrase “green grape candy payback,” covering his mouth with the back of his hand and his shoulders shaking.

Everyone knew except for Shin Hee-won. Even the manager knew… Only he didn’t. I was always teased by my older bandmates, but this time I want to tease him back. Thinking this, Han Ji-su suddenly felt he had reached his limit and tightly closed his eyes, pressing his lips together.

He felt like tears would come if he said any more, so he gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. Kang Jae-yoon, recognizing Han Ji-su’s breaking point, also stopped talking.

Kang Jae-yoon watched him for a moment, eyes tightly shut and taking deep breaths. Instead of forcing the conversation about the three men, he reached out and gently stroked Han Ji-su’s clenched hand.

Han Ji-su didn’t refuse the comforting touch, as he always did. He desperately wanted to share more stories about Kang Jae-yoon, his consistently kind eldest bandmate and leader, and the three older bandmates who were like family, but his heart just wouldn’t cooperate, leaving him frustrated.

On the day of The Cataclysm five years ago, Han Ji-su lost everyone precious to him except for Kang Jae-yoon, who was now by his side.

Childhood friends he had grown up with since he could remember, his bandmates, his managers, close seniors, and trainee juniors preparing for their next debut…

And even his only remaining family, his older brother and younger brother, all of them.

The Cataclysm that occurred five years ago was recorded as the worst catastrophe in human history.

On that day of disaster, which erupted simultaneously across the globe, not only Han Ji-su but many others lost loved ones. So many lives were sacrificed that it was harder to find someone who hadn’t lost anyone.

‘Still, it’s been five years…’

Now, five years after The Cataclysm, most people had managed to adapt to the changed world and were living their lives.

Han Ji-su, however, often felt as if he was still stuck in the time of The Cataclysm. Even now, he thought he would be okay, he thought he could finally talk happily about his loved ones, but suddenly he felt a surge of emotion and tears began to well up.

“Damn it… seriously…”

Despite keeping his eyes shut, tears began to gather. The moment they forced their way through his eyelids, forming drops that eventually flowed down, Han Ji-su felt a mix of irritation and shame.

It was embarrassing that tears were falling against his will, but what made him even more sorrowful was how pathetic and sorry he felt, still being like this when he was Kang Jae-yoon’s only remaining connection to the memories of Loveis.

“…Brother, I’m sorry…”

Han Ji-su managed to apologize, his voice choked. He had been feeling good, he thought everything was fine, but he was frustrated with himself for still being unable to control the sudden surge of longing.

Kang Jae-yoon offered a calm smile, as if he understood everything without needing words. Then, he turned his upper body to the side and carefully wiped Han Ji-su’s face with his hand, saying,

“What are you sorry for? You can talk about it next time, when you feel like it.”

“…Okay…”

Han Ji-su bit his lip, frustrated with himself, and nodded with difficulty. A mix of negative emotions—apology, self-loathing, shame—made his mouth feel bitter.

Just as Kang Jae-yoon, out of long habit, was about to say something more to comfort his youngest, Toto, who had been quietly watching out the window, leaped from Han Ji-su’s shoulder to his thigh. Then he stood on two feet and let out a short “Cheep!”

“Huh? Toto, what’s wrong?”

“Cheep.”

“Hmm? Are you done looking? Do you want to go back in my pocket?”

“Cheeeeeep.”

Toto rummaged through his chubby cheek pouches with his front paws, as if to say that wasn’t it. He opened his small mouth wide and pulled out half of a dungeon-derived macadamia, his favorite.

“…? Hmm?”

“Cheeeep-!”

Toto stood proudly on his tiptoes, offering the macadamia.

“…Are you giving this to Papa?”

“Cheeep!”

Toto chirped energetically, as if to confirm, and held the macadamia even higher. Han Ji-su chuckled, took the macadamia, and then offered it back to Toto.

“Thank you, Toto. But Papa isn’t hungry right now, so you eat it.”

“Cheeeep…”

Toto looked back and forth between the macadamia and Han Ji-su, then took a step back, as if saying he could take it. Han Ji-su knew this was Toto’s way of showing concern, so he smiled as he put the macadamia in his jacket pocket.

“Hmm~ Alright, I’ll save this and eat it later.”