S Chapter 9

Why is a kid who came to school normally in the infirmary?

Mm-hmm.

A restless sound could be heard from inside. A suppressed groan, as if in discomfort. Formless anxiety welled up. He could overlook being mocked himself as ‘cute,’ but touching his brother was another matter. If he were to directly witness the horrors of school violence inflicted upon his brother, he might completely forget the virtues he, as an adult, should uphold.

‘Calm down. Not yet.’

Contrary to his thoughts, he kept clenching and unclenching his hands. Shin Jukyeong stared at the ceiling once, then threw open the infirmary door.

If he was lying there beaten, he would rip off the limbs of those who hit him; if he had run away from bullying, he would gouge out the internal organs of those who bullied him. Even upon reconsideration, it was a very calmly made decision. Shin Jukyeong praised his own patience and looked for his brother.

U-dam was lying on the bed. Was he asleep? Shin Jukyeong cautiously approached and examined his brother.

‘It’s a wound from trying to stop something.’

On his unusually pale face, as if powdered, a blue bruise was visible.

‘…It’s going to be a death by a thousand cuts.’

This, too, was a highly rational decision, so he would not accept any objections.

‘The parts I can’t see must be worse.’

It was at the moment he was about to lift U-dam’s clothes to check for other injuries.

“The nurse isn’t here.”

A clear voice, quite sharp for someone who had just woken up, was heard.

“…!”

His hand, which had been about to unbutton, hovered in the air. He wasn’t asleep. Damn, that was close. He almost got accused of molestation.

“Haaahm…”

U-dam yawned and sat up. His face, teetering on the precarious boundary between boy and man, was magnificent. It was a face so handsome it seemed he lived in a world of his own. As a brother, he couldn’t say he had no bias, but he genuinely was good-looking.

“What brings you here? The class bell rang.”

He clicked his tongue, then smoothed his bedhead. Both of them were late, but U-dam seemed unconcerned, relaxed. Anyone would think Shin Jukyeong was the only Hanguk High School student there, that’s how leisurely U-dam was.

“Did someone hu—um, no… I just felt a bit unwell.”

Facing him, Shin Jukyeong chose to equivocate. It was understandable. Even though he was the epitome of indifference, whose social awareness was on the verge of extinction… it was a bit, actually, very awkward to openly say, ‘I suspect bullying, so let me check your torso.’

At eighteen, one is at their most sensitive. One should refrain from words or actions that could inadvertently expose vulnerabilities. Especially knowing that his brother would truly go astray in the distant future, even more so.

“You really take care of your body.”

U-dam let out a small laugh, then extended one finger and waved it at Shin Jukyeong.

“How many?”

“One…?”

‘It must be a mistake that it’s his middle finger.’

Despite his displeased feelings, Shin Jukyeong answered dutifully. If it had been anyone else, he would have broken their finger long ago. U-dam, unaware of such a truth, nodded his head.

“Your eyes seem fine. Does somewhere else hurt?”

“Ah, uh… Yeah. Roughly.”

“Ah… roughly.”

U-dam subtly quirked one corner of his mouth.

“Then you should take some medicine, right?”

He then got off the bed and strode with his long legs, rummaging through various spots in the infirmary. His fingertips, slightly reddened, picked up several medicine bottles. Pills tumbled out and gathered. There were clearly many varieties.

‘Does he want to play doctor? I have more pressing matters right now.’

“No, look, what I mean is—”

“My brother shouldn’t be sick.”

‘My brother? Hmm… Should I play along for a bit?’

Shin Jukyeong’s spirits soared.

“Take a lot and get well soon.”

U-dam, suddenly closing the distance, grabbed Shin Jukyeong’s chin and lifted it. His grip was strong. Perplexity spread across Shin Jukyeong’s face, which had been brimming with solitary happiness. This was because there were too many pills being shoved at him, telling him to eat them.

‘No, before that… what kind of medicine is it? Doesn’t he know you shouldn’t take medicines with various ingredients all at once?’

He was grateful for the gesture, but his brother’s limited common sense was regrettable.

“There, ah—”

“Ugh…”

U-dam pressed Shin Jukyeong’s cheek, forcing his mouth open.

‘His grip strength is good.’

Shin Jukyeong frowned but inwardly admired the strong force. Strength was something one had to be born with to some extent, and this much was acceptable. If he taught him proper close-combat techniques, he likely wouldn’t get beaten up easily. Then he could protect himself.

Shin Jukyeong looked at U-dam, making various plans to himself. The boy, holding a handful of pills and pushing them forward, smiled brightly. It was a clear and clean smile.

“Open your mouth, hyung.”

Thud! Pushed back by the pressing force, Shin Jukyeong’s back hit a cabinet. His retreat was blocked, and U-dam was in front of him.

‘Hmm…’

It was certainly possible to escape if he wanted to, but he was worried he might accidentally hurt his brother. And most of all… it was the first gift he was receiving, so it was hard to flat-out refuse. Yes. Currently, it was his first time receiving something from his brother, so it was difficult to refuse outright.

‘What to do. My detoxification function won’t be the same as when I was thirty.’

Shin Jukyeong secretly broke out in a cold sweat. He was deeply troubled. He didn’t want to ignore his brother’s goodwill, but it was also true that his current body was quite fragile, making him reluctant to carelessly ingest medicine.

“Want me to feed you?”

U-dam’s eyes narrowed, and his gaze deepened. The will not to give up was palpable. To be cared for to this extent. His heart melted.

‘Alright, what the heck, let’s just pretend it’s a nutritional supplement.’

Wasn’t it a big brother’s duty to accept his younger brother’s heart? Having made up his mind, Shin Jukyeong immediately acted.

“…Ah.”

He slowly opened his lips. His demeanor was extremely submissive. So much so that it gave the illusion of ‘No matter what you do, I’ll be fine.’

“…”

At Shin Jukyeong’s attitude, U-dam paused. His beaming smile completely vanished.

“…?”

U-dam stared at Shin Jukyeong without a word, then opened the hand he had been holding. Various colorful pills scattered onto the floor. Shin Jukyeong’s gaze naturally followed. His expression seemed to say he didn’t understand why what should have gone into his mouth was on the floor.

“A prank.”

U-dam muttered, as if he’d had his fun. The way he nudged the pills with his foot somehow looked delinquent. Then, their eyes met, and he twitched his nose once, then mischievously grinned. His skill in handling emotions was remarkable for an eighteen-year-old.

“Rest.”

“Just a moment.”

Shin Jukyeong urgently grabbed U-dam, who was about to leave.

“Is there something you want to say?”

U-dam lightly shook the sleeve Shin Jukyeong was holding and asked, ‘Hm?’ His gentle tone and eyes, curved like crescent moons, seemed to show favor toward the other person, but a distinct coldness also lay beneath. Of course, Shin Jukyeong, obsessed with ‘U-dam being bullied!’, didn’t notice.

“Well…”

Shin Jukyeong swallowed hard.

‘What should I say?’

He had many things he wanted to say, but he couldn’t even grasp how to begin. The thought that his efforts to protect his brother might instead hurt him made Shin Jukyeong just mouth words like a goldfish.

‘I can’t just interrogate him…’

While he hesitated, searching for a method, a documentary flashed through his mind. Hope was there. A psychology counselor with round glasses appeared in the air. Before Shin Jukyeong could even ask who he was, the counselor pointed a long stick at him.

‘Do you want to get closer to children?’

‘Yes? Uh, yes, yes…’

‘Children hide their pain well. Why? Because they’re afraid of being scolded. They don’t think anyone will take their side, even if they rely on adults. So, to protect themselves, they stay silent or lie.’

‘I see.’

‘It’s the same even in situations where they need help.’

‘Then what should I do?’

As Shin Jukyeong asked restlessly, the teacher gave a benevolent smile.

‘If you want to hear a child’s true feelings, you simply need to qualify for it. First, form a rapport with the child.’

‘Rapport with U-dam…?’

Confusion.

‘Now, now, now! Guardian, there’s no need to overthink it. Let’s assume you want to lower a small animal’s guard. If you just approach them because they’re cute, they’ll often get scared and run away, right? We need to wait. Enter their boundary, and wait until they drop their guard.’

‘Guard…’

‘Share the same hobbies, concerns, or even pain. Oh~ so you had such a hard time? I experienced this and that, aren’t we a bit similar? I know a way you can feel more comfortable, would it be okay if I helped you? Could we talk? That’s how you approach it.’

‘Share the same pain…’

‘Especially for secrets that are hard to tell others, it will be even more effective. If there’s someone who shares the same situation and experience as you, their heart will be drawn more easily.’

Same pain, same situation, same experience. Shin Jukyeong’s gaze naturally fell downward.

‘I have it.’

A yellow lightbulb above his head went ‘ding!’ and lit up.

“What… are you doing right now?”

A bewildered voice escaped U-dam. He was so flustered that the pronoun for Shin Jukyeong changed to ‘you.’ It was understandable. If the guy who was supposed to be his brother was suddenly unbuckling his belt right in front of him… yes, it was enough to make him jump.

Shin Jukyeong, on the other hand, was calm.

“Because I have a lot of built-up stuff too.”

“…Built up?”

“Yeah.”

That’s right. Shin Jukyeong had recalled the scars on his own calves.