ID Chapter 36

I told my parents I wanted to terminate the contract with the company. My parents, who were already in contact with the other members’ parents, asked why I was bringing it up as if it were news. The termination proceeded swiftly, and we didn’t need to ask the adults to handle it, as they were already taking care of it.

My parents and Min became long-term guests at the hotel. Min grumbled but stayed with me, solving puzzles or playing games. Kwon Su-han was very busy, so if it weren’t for Min, I would have been alone in the big house from morning till night.

I occasionally talked to the members on the phone, exchanging updates. At first, they apologized so much that I almost felt sorry for them, but I wanted to clearly distinguish who should apologize to me, so I firmly told them not to apologize anymore. Han-sae and Yadan seemed to understand my point and went back to their usual selves, but Mun still acted like a guilty party around me, which made me a bit uncomfortable.

CEO Shin Dong-woo and Yong-jun also kept contacting me. At first, they threatened me, saying, “We won’t stand by idly,” but later they sent a desperate text message saying, “Let’s just meet, okay? Let’s talk. We still have the affection we built up, don’t we?” But that message arrived precisely when I was having a meal with Kwon Su-han. Kwon Su-han saw the name on my phone screen, silently took it, and blocked the number.

“Do I not have to meet these people? Don’t I have to go in person to sign something to terminate the contract?”

“You don’t have to worry about it. The only thing you need to worry about is finishing your meal and telling me what you want to eat tomorrow.”

So I decided to leave them blocked. I would leave dealing with adults to adults.

Anyway, these days, both my physical and mental states were the clearest and brightest they had been recently. Especially when I read my fans’ posts, the day just flew by.

Today, as I was rolling around on Kwon Su-han’s bed, which now felt like my own, reading letters from the fan cafe from around November of last year, a call came from an unknown number. When I didn’t answer, a text message came from the same number.

[Ira, come to Huiwanjeon at 3 PM today. -Go Yu-jin]

I sprang up. Go Yu-jin? Yu-jin hyung? Huiwanjeon is a high-end royal court restaurant in Jejan-din, near the dorm. Could he really be in Jejan-din?

My heart pounded.

My fingers trembled as I made the call.

-Ira.

A neat yet cool voice called my name.

“Hyung, what happened? Are you in Jejan-din now? What about school?”

-A week ago, I became a Righteous Warrior / Doctor / Hero (an Aura User who does public good, such as helping refugees, and is in the early stages of entering politics), and I just arrived in Jejan-din.

To graduate from a four-year school in just eight months… As expected, I couldn’t help but exclaim in admiration.

-I heard the news. That you received a Cyanide Cookie.

..Ah.

-Your pet dog, was it Mallang-i? I sincerely pray for her repose.

My heart stung. I clutched my chest.

“Yes, thank you. She must have gone to a good place.”

-You cherished her so much that you even took her into the dorm. Your grief must be immense.

I tried to ignore my throbbing heartbeat. Neither my parents, nor Min, nor the members brought up Mallang-i, and I myself had no immunity to it.

-I didn’t realize there would be so many fans who couldn’t accept you. It was my oversight. I should have made things clearer before I left. I thought you were kind and diligent, so you’d quickly win the fans’ love.

I pressed down on my anxiously pounding chest with my fingers. My own reaction, being hurt by Yu-jin hyung’s pure words, was pathetic. Calm down. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

Kwon Su-han’s house, his bedroom, safer than anywhere else in the world.

And I had confirmed the fans’ love.

I know now, even if I didn’t a few days ago. Even back when I received the cookie with cyanide in it and thought everyone in the world hated me, they had sent me letters saying ‘thank you’ and ‘I love you.’

“No. This isn’t anyone’s fault. Hyung, don’t feel sorry for me either. Getting an apology when it’s not something to apologize for actually hurts more.”

-…….

“Huh? What did you say?”

Hyung mumbled something in a small voice, but I couldn’t hear it. When I asked again, hyung chuckled softly.

-I said you’re right. Anyway, I purposely came back to see you and the kids. Don’t be late.

“Okay, I understand. See you later.”

It was indeed about time to start packing up at the dorm and meet the members. I nodded, then realized it was a phone call and answered, ‘Okay.’

Yu-jin hyung then said, ‘See you later,’ and hung up. His voice was laced with a hint of laughter.

I searched for Go Yu-jin online. Sure enough, news articles about his arrival were already flooding the internet. I tapped on any article, and there was talk about me in the comments.

┗Seems he came back because of Ira.

┗While he’s here, rejoin Endorphin go go go go

┗Can’t they leave Shik City and form a new six-member group? I can’t lose either Ira or Go Yu-jin..ㅠㅠㅠ

┗I miss Go Yu-jin. There will never be an idol like him again.

They were right. An S-class Soul Aura User idol like Yu-jin hyung would be the first and the last. He was fair to everyone, just, and benevolent, yet also sharp and cool, making him a popular and unique character. Hyung had something that captivated people. Leadership and charisma that no one could imitate. If Jae-yi’s charisma was intimidating, Yu-jin hyung’s charisma inspired trust. I respected hyung too. But…

Now that Go Yu-jin was back, Endorphin’s fans…

My head ached. I popped a headache pill into my mouth, and as I was putting on my going-out clothes, my phone rang again. It was Jae-yi. I answered the call immediately.

“Jae-yi.”

-Ira, did you hear? I just got a call that Yu-jin hyung is back.

“Yeah, I’m about to leave now.”

-He’s finally showing his face.

Jae-yi said, sounding exasperated. I hadn’t seen his face even once since that day. We talked frequently, but…

-How are you going to get to Huiwanjeon? Public transportation is dangerous. People won’t leave you alone if they see you.

“I’ll just call a taxi, I guess.”

“I’m in front of the Adapter-Exclusive Town/Apartment now, so come out when you’re ready.”

“Huh? Hey, Jae-yi!”

Jae-yi hung up after saying what he needed to say. Did he drive here? But it was strange. Go Yu-jin had just started contacting everyone about meeting, yet Jae-yi was already nearby.

Ira wondered if Jae-yi had just come without an appointment to meet.

Maybe yesterday, and the day before yesterday too…

Ira had a lot to talk about with Jae-yi. There were stories that needed closure. Jae-yi must know. He must have felt it last time. That the next time they met face-to-face, they would have to tie up loose ends. Ira had been avoiding the meeting for that reason, but it seemed Jae-yi’s patience had finally run out.

Ira finished getting dressed and picked up his phone. There was a message from Kwon Su-han.

“You ate it all cleanly. Was it tasty?”

It was a reply to the photo of the empty plate Ira had sent after lunch.

“It was delicious, Hyung. Are you late again today?”

Kwon Su-han “I’ll be back around 9. Tell me if there’s anything you want to eat.”

“I’m full, nothing comes to mind.”

Kwon Su-han “Tell me right away if anything comes to mind later.”

“Okay >ㅇ<"

Will Ira get hungry by 9? Even if not, Ira would ask him to buy a lot so Kwon Su-han could eat it. Kwon Su-han had asked what Ira was doing now, but Ira just sent a smiling bunny emoji and ended the conversation. There was no need to mention meeting Go Yu-jin.

Ira locked the door with the deadbolt and the key, then called Yi Min, who always came around this time to spend time with Ira.

"Oh, Min. I'm just…"

"Hyung, I was about to call you. I'm at the apartment entrance now. Open the door for me."

"You're already here? I called because I was about to leave."

"You're leaving? Damn, you should've said so earlier."

"Sorry…"

"Where are you going? Who are you meeting? Where? Is it far? Will you be back late?"

Yi Min asked without giving Ira a chance to answer.

"Are you perhaps meeting Go Yu-jin? An article about his return to the country was published."

"…Yeah, I'm meeting the members."

"…Jae… Kwon Jae-yi too?"

Yi Min's voice pitched higher. Ira could feel his excitement. Ira blinked a few times.

"Yeah, I am."

"…Me… Take me too!"

Yi Min said hurriedly.

"That Adapter told me to stick with you all day, Hyung. Mom and Dad also said not to leave you alone, so I have to be next to you. I want to go too! It's not because I want to see Jae-yi. It's super annoying, but I'm going because I was asked to!"

Unmistakable anticipation seeped through his hurried tone. It was really cute how explicitly he was revealing, "I want to meet Sir Jae-yi, I want to see his face, I want to talk to him!!" Ira knew that S-class Motion Aura User Jae-yi was an idol for any Motioner. If Ira had his way, he would have taken Yi Min and introduced them. But serious conversations were sure to take place, and it felt awkward to bring along a mere 15-year-old child. Strictly speaking, he was also an outsider.

"Hyung, do you have any A4 paper? No, bring an album or something like that! And a marker!"

"…Alright. I'm coming down now, wait in front."

Still, Ira couldn't bring himself to disappoint the highly excited Yi Min. Ira went back inside. He took one of the albums from Kwon Su-han's study and a magic marker, put them in his backpack, and then entered Endorphin's group chat.

"Can I bring my younger brother?"

Mun "Your younger brother? Yi Min? Is he in Jejan-din?"

Mun "Yeah, bring him."

Yadan "Yes, Hyung, bring him."

Han-sae "ㅋㅋㅋㅋ I'll get to see you shrivel up in front of your younger brother ㅋㅋㅋㅋ"

It was a relief that everyone readily accepted. Ira also messaged Go Yu-jin separately. He replied, "^^ Okay. Bring him."

When Ira met Yi Min at the entrance, his cheeks were flushed red. He would have been truly disappointed if Ira hadn't taken him.

"What should I do? Do I look weird? I just threw on some clothes. Ugh, I should have brought the new sneakers I have at home."

"You don't look weird, you look cute… handsome. Wait a sec. I'll call Jae-yi."

"Why are you calling Jae-yi???"

"Because we decided to go in Jae-yi's car."

Yi Min's mouth dropped open. His eyes and mouth widened, then he bounced up and down in place with a squeal. To be honest, Ira was a little surprised right now. This was the first time he had seen Yi Min like this. Perhaps this was his true personality, one he didn't show Ira. Ira tried to suppress the laughter threatening to escape.

Jae-yi, whom Ira hadn't seen in a long time, looked even more gaunt than before. His jawline was sharply defined, making Ira wonder if he was even eating three meals a day. Why had Jae-yi's face gotten so thin? It pained Ira's heart.

"Jae-yi Hyung is really dignified…"

Yi Min whispered with a flushed face, but all Ira saw was an exhausted young man. Jae-yi looked at Ira, his brow furrowed, and approached him.

"Are you eating well? Your face has gotten so thin. Is that Adapter not taking good care of you?"

"I've been eating five meals a day lately."

"What are you eating that you're not gaining the weight you're supposed to…"

Jae-yi was lying. Ira had gained a whopping 5kg in a week. Kwon Su-han's first order of business when he came home was to put Ira on the scale. Ira had skipped a meal while on the internet recently, and Kwon Su-han had gotten terrifyingly angry when he found out. He hadn't raised his voice, but his quiet, piercing gaze was frightening. Since then, Ira had to send regular "proof shots" after eating. It seemed like Kwon Su-han's ulterior motive was to fatten Ira up and devour him.

Ira introduced Jae-yi and Yi Min to each other, and they got into the car. Yi Min, unexpectedly, became so shy in front of Jae-yi that he couldn't even utter the first sound of "Please sign."

Jae-yi's car, which Ira hadn't been in for a long time, hadn't changed. The five small animal plushies lined up were ones they had won from a claw machine. Ira remembered spending 80,000 won to get them. The dog tags they had gotten together were still dangling from the rearview mirror. Were there still stickers on the sun visor mirror? Was the dark brown blanket, Ira's personal blanket, neatly folded in the glove compartment? What about the candies Ira had secretly put in the console box…?

Ira's mood dipped a little as he sat in the passenger seat, and as soon as he sat down, Jae-yi leaned in.

"…To fasten your seatbelt."

"…Oh, thanks."

Ira could have fastened it himself, but Jae-yi had always done it for him. Ira had never once said, "I'll do it myself."

Jae-yi's firm chin brushed Ira's bangs. Feeling his breath would touch him, Ira held his breath and stared down at his own thighs. Jae-yi very leisurely and slowly fastened the seatbelt, then lightly tapped Ira's cheek with his finger.

"Why?"

"Don't freeze up. You used to ride in it as often as your own car."

"……."

"You haven't… forgotten everything, have you?"

Ira bit his lip.

When Ira didn't answer, Jae-yi smiled bitterly and started the car. It was a weak smile, unlike him.

Ira resented Jae-yi for that.

If you were going to be this lonely, why did you make that choice? If you were going to act like you had regrets, why did you do it?

You chose it. It's the result of your choice…