ID Chapter 40

(This is a consecutive update.)

Today, Mom couldn’t postpone Min’s academy lessons, so she returned to Izividi. I didn’t go inside the airport, only saw her off to the parking lot. Kwon Su-han drove us back and forth, but during that time, we didn’t exchange a single personal word.

“Ira, how long are you planning to stay at Mr. Kwon’s house? Is the healing not over yet?”

Dad stayed behind alone to finalize the contract termination, and before we parted ways in front of the hotel, he subtly appealed that he wanted to stay together.

“Ah, right. I’ll go to Dad now. At least I should take care of his breakfast.”

I couldn’t leave someone who gets lonely easily in a large hotel alone… and it was awkward facing Kwon Su-han, so I intended to leave the apartment this time.

“No. You need more healing. Sir, for Ira to receive frequent healing, he needs to be close to an Aura Adapter. Also, a hotel has too many eyes, making it inconvenient to come and go freely.”

That is, if Kwon Su-han hadn’t opposed it with an icy voice.

I don’t know what this person intends to do with me.

I glared at him with the coldest stare I could muster, but Kwon Su-han just said, “Let’s go,” and put me in the car.

On the way back, I looked out the window and thought many things. No, actually, I only thought one thing.

The affection I felt from Kwon Su-han was just pity…

Recalling it again, my heart tingled as if electrocuted. When I unconsciously let out a groan, Kwon Su-han reacted immediately.

“What’s wrong? Are you sick somewhere? Are you feeling stifled?”

“…I’m fine.”

“You look pale. Let’s get some fresh air.”

Kwon Su-han pulled over to the shoulder. People were passing by, so he only opened the window a little. Suddenly, old memories resurfaced. The day I threw up in Kwon Su-han’s car, the thoughts I had while gazing at the rippling waters of the Ibitic River…

The situation was very different from then. I looked at Kwon Su-han. His face was stained with worry; with eyes like that, I couldn’t help but misunderstand…

“Hyung, I’ll still stay with Dad at the hotel. It’s hard to live with someone who rejected me.”

“…You don’t like me. Aura Users naturally feel affection for an Aura Adapter when receiving healing. Think carefully again about who truly holds your heart.”

It was a laughable statement. As if I wouldn’t know my own heart.

When I didn’t answer, Kwon Su-han also fell silent. I turned my head back to the window.

Buzz.

Just then, a phone vibrated. It was Kwon Su-han’s.

“…Wait a moment.”

Kwon Su-han took his phone from his pocket, checked the caller, and then went outside.

The silence inside the empty car was surprisingly comfortable.

Sigh… I let out a complicated sigh, and then my phone also vibrated.

The caller was Jin-ho Hyung. The moment I pressed to answer, the car door burst open.

“Ira.”

Kwon Su-han, with an uncharacteristically excited expression, told me in a rather quick tone.

It was the news that the Cyanide culprit had been caught.

She was twenty-five years old. An older female fan, three years older than me. The eldest daughter of a harmonious family of four, with a father, a mother, and a high school student younger brother.

I didn’t go to meet them; only Dad hurried over.

The culprit’s parents reportedly grabbed our dad’s legs and tearfully begged.

They said, “Isn’t twenty-five too young to lose one’s future? Ira didn’t actually eat it, so there was no real harm. Please, just forgive her this once,” and knelt to plead.

Of course, there was no way Dad would forgive her.

It coincidentally happened on the day Mom departed, and it was hard to stop her from wanting to come back. She said she wouldn’t be satisfied until she saw the culprit’s face, so I actively discouraged her. Because I deeply regret having seen that person’s face.

Articles started appearing around the same time I learned of it. The internet quickly uncovered her personal information, and I learned which school the culprit attended, what neighborhood she lived in, and what kind of person she was. This was not what I wanted. I didn’t want to consider the perpetrator’s circumstances.

Time flew by frantically.

Reporters were taking photos with telephoto lenses, so for several days, I couldn’t step outside the front door.

During that time, the perpetrator’s family consistently requested a meeting with me, and I consistently refused.

The culprit sent me a letter, filling a whole page by hand. I tried to read it several times, but the letters kept wriggling like worms, and I couldn’t read them.

“If you don’t want to read it, don’t. There’s no need to force yourself.”

“No… no. I want to read it, but the letters aren’t readable. What is this… Am I dyslexic?”

“Do you want to read it?”

“Yes. Of course, I want to know what she wrote.”

“I’ll read it for you.”

Kwon Su-han read the contents of the letter in a calm tone.

It stated that she sincerely regretted her actions and would never do such a thing again.

That was all.

At that moment, my emptiness and disillusionment were utterly indescribable.

I conveyed my message through Kwon Su-han.

[Because of you, I lost my pet, and I will suffer from an eating disorder for the rest of my life. This trauma will never heal.]

Those were the two sentences.

After that, the culprit’s family never requested a meeting with me again.

For the few days I couldn’t go out, I monitored public opinion. Surprisingly, the prevailing sentiment was to severely punish her for attempted murder, and Kwon Su-han reacted as if this was natural.

In fact, seeing such a reaction somewhat calmed my hatred. Apart from my personal forgiveness, I didn’t want to face her in court, nor did I want this incident to keep being talked about among the public, so I even considered a settlement. Honestly, I also thought, how much must she have hated me to do such a thing…

Anyway, I was more afraid of the culprit than I hated her. Because I didn’t know her identity. The culprit could have been anyone, and could harm me at any time. I was just afraid that one day I’d go to a restaurant and she’d be the chef, or go to a bakery and she’d be the baker.

When I conveyed my thoughts to Kwon Su-han, he looked at me with complex eyes for a moment, then quickly answered coldly.

“Even if you want to reach a settlement, you can’t. The culprit will face a very severe punishment.”

“Why?? Even if the victim doesn’t want it?”

“Because you are a high-ranking Soul Aura User.”

Only then could I understand.

The person was not urgently arrested as an anti-fan who tried to kill an idol, but as a non-aura user who tried to kill an Aura User.

I had been nervous, expecting a long struggle, but thanks to the Aura User Protection Law, it was resolved very simply. While I was still dazed, things proceeded smoothly, and now it would be over once I completed my aura rank re-evaluation tomorrow.

It was so smooth that I was bewildered. I lay down in bed to sleep early for tomorrow, but sleep wouldn’t come at all.

Instead of me, who couldn’t purely rejoice, my dad and mom were so happy… Congratulatory messages poured in from everywhere, and I think the members were probably the happiest after my parents.

Then, of course, there were the fans.

The fan cafe was completely turned upside down after the Cyanide Cookie culprit was caught. Especially when Go Yu-jin was mentioned along with it, it turned into a battleground.

I was curious if the culprit was Go Yu-jin’s fan, and I found out from the news. They were a die-hard fan who even ran Go Yu-jin’s personal fan page. When that fact became known, Go Yu-jin quickly issued a statement. He stated that he considered it his first duty as a politician and would strive for the enactment of idol protection laws, using this incident as an opportunity.

In fact, since I am not S-class, it is difficult for me to be subject to the Aura User Protection Law. Among the Aura Users who have been protected by the law historically, there has only been one A-class person who was a minor, besides me.

According to Kwon Jin-ho, there was political influence in my receiving the Aura User Protection Law, so I suspect Go Yu-jin might have helped me.

And Jae-yi too…

Jae-yi sent me a message.

[I’m sorry I couldn’t help you all this time. I hope your heart is at ease now.]

What was Jae-yi feeling when he sent me such a message, after I had rejected his feelings?

I’m sorry, but my heart wasn’t at ease at all. That was for a different reason.

During the few days that swept by like a storm, I hadn’t been as shocked as expected, and the reason I could keep my sanity was that my mind was filled with other problems.

Ridiculously, more than the Cyanide Cookie culprit who had tormented me for eight months…

Ugh.

I rolled around on the bed until I was pressed against the wall. Even the cool warmth emanating from the wall didn’t alleviate my headache. And the medicine Kwon Jin-ho had bought me was all gone.

It’s truly ridiculous, but after enduring all that suffering for eight months, unable to sleep, eat properly, and tormented by paranoia because of the Cyanide Cookie anti-fan, a completely different problem is dominating my mind right now.

‘He doesn’t like me. Kwon Su-han only pities me; he doesn’t truly like me.’

Compared to this fact, the Cyanide Cookie culprit feels like nothing.

Is it because the Cyanide Cookie culprit has been caught and it’s a resolved issue? Or is it because I like Kwon Su-han much more than I thought…

Really, really much…

My head hurts. I was so dizzy that my vision went blurry, so I pressed my temples with my fingertips.

I wished Kwon Su-han’s hand would stroke my forehead, but I was all alone on this wide bed. If he doesn’t like me, then why does he keep his distance when we sleep? Kwon Su-han’s actions are cognitive dissonance, exactly that.

「You don’t like me. Aura Users develop feelings for Adapters when they receive healing. Think carefully once more about who your true feelings are for.」

I wonder if Kwon Su-han knew what his expression was like then.

It was the first time I realized he could have such yearning eyes.

So, like someone being subjected to hope-torture, I still couldn’t let go of my lingering feelings. Arrogant thoughts kept coming to me. Like, what if he really does like me…?

The final hurdle for the Aura User Protection Law was the aura rank re-evaluation. I was lost in thought as I put on the Aura Handy (one of the rank measurement tools).

They said that if I received an A-class or higher in this measurement, the law would be applied directly.

Then it would truly be over.

There were no obstacles as things progressed… The public was on my side, the perpetrator’s family did not appeal, and without any interference from the company, the culprit could be smoothly put into prison. It didn’t take a long time, nor were the procedures complicated.

If it was this easy, why did I have to suffer alone for so long?

Rather, it felt like a heavy stone was pressing down on my chest.

Kwon Su-han interpreted the reason for my gloomy expression in his own way and comforted me.

“You won’t have to face the culprit. As a victim who is a Soul Aura User, you will be protected.”

“I know. I’m grateful, but I feel somewhat sorry that someone like me, who isn’t even S-class, is benefiting from this law.”

“Don’t belittle yourself. Why, all of a sudden…”

Kwon Su-han had a surprised look on his face. When I tilted my head, wondering why he was so shocked, his expression twisted in distress.

“You are a precious person who deserves protection. Don’t ever use the phrase ‘someone like me’ again.”

Kwon Su-han always says sweet, pleasant things to me. I was able to receive the protection of this law thanks to Go Yu-jin and Jae-yi. If it weren’t for them, it wouldn’t have ended this easily.

Anyway, it was resolved easily, so I should be happy, but I kept feeling a lump in my throat.

What exactly had I done for myself?

Without even trying to catch the culprit, what exactly…

“I don’t know. I feel so foolish. No, honestly, I’m such a pushover. I don’t understand why I just endured it alone.”

For all that long time, why did I act like an idiot alone? I don’t understand what I was enduring it for.

Why did I do that…? Even a child wouldn’t have just taken it like that.

“Ira.”

Kwon Su-han sat next to me. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, and only then did I realize my body was subtly trembling.

“You were being controlled by an Adapter. It’s not your fault.”

“Are you talking about CEO Shin Dong-woo? I know that person is an Adapter. I also knew that he sometimes tried to manipulate me with aura, but I was fully aware of it. I knew he was an Adapter, and I knew when he was flowing aura into me. This was just me sitting there like a pushover and taking it.”

“You don’t understand the true terror of an Adapter at all.”

Kwon Su-han said, almost lamenting with a sigh.

“An Adapter can control an Aura User’s consciousness itself. It means they can make you believe, ‘This is my own judgment.'”

“My thoughts… themselves?”

“Yes. What you thought were your own thoughts were all thoughts implanted by CEO Shin Dong-woo. So, don’t blame yourself unnecessarily.”

“I can’t believe it. It’s like being robbed blind in broad daylight… As far as I know, CEO Shin Dong-woo is only F-class.”

“Even with a low rank, it’s such a terrifying ability…”

Kwon Su-han caressed my back. I leaned my entire body against him.

Is that so… My injustice isn’t from the culprit, nor from myself, but something I should be compensated for by CEO Shin Dong-woo? How could I be compensated for the time I suffered alone, controlled by him? If I were to accuse CEO Shin Dong-woo, who is under the Adapter Protection Program, without evidence, I would be the one going to prison.

Beep-

While I was lost in thought, the Aura Handy’s alarm rang, indicating the measurement was over. As I removed my hand from the measuring device, Kwon Su-han calmly pulled down the sleeve I had rolled up. Seeing the red mark left by the Aura Handy’s opening on my wrist, he gently rubbed it with his finger, looking upset. Even from such a small touch, I harbored expectations.