ID Chapter 42

The culprit of the cyanide incident was caught, and the termination of the exclusive contract also gained speed. It was thanks to public opinion and Go Yu-jin. The company that neglected me was considered a vicious corporation by the public, and since that vicious corporation wasn’t letting go of ‘poor Ira’ and Endorphin, it seemed Go Yu-jin intended to resolve this issue to improve the company’s image.

In any case, it was a benefit for me.

-We probably won’t be able to use the name Endorphin. Shik City registered all the copyrights… There are ways to get it back, but they say it would take two or three years.

-CEO Shin Dong-woo, that son of a bitch, is still being so dirty even with public opinion like this.

Mun, visible on the screen, looked very haggard. Next to him, Han-sae, who didn’t hesitate to curse at the former CEO, actually looked like he had gained weight.

“Yes, my dad already told me. Does Yadan know too? And Jae-yi?”

-They both know. But they both accepted it coolly.

-Those bastards are Motioners, so their emotions are dried up. They don’t care at all. Heartless bastards.

-Honestly, thinking about the year and five months I was active as Endorphin, I even shed tears, but seeing their reaction, I wondered what was wrong with me for crying.

Mun chuckled. He seemed disheartened yet also relieved. Perhaps it just looked that way because my own feelings were close to relief. The eleven months as Endorphin would be unforgettable and certainly precious time, but there had been so many difficult things…

“Honestly, I wanted to make a comeback with a different name, not Endorphin. I felt like that would be a true beginning.”

-I understand, Ira. Let’s find a good name together. Han-sae, that guy, was suggesting things like ‘Dolphin’.

-Isn’t that okay? As a symbol of freedom and cuteness.

-I like ‘Love and Peace’ or ‘Freedom’. They have meaning.

At least I know I should never let Mun be in charge of naming things.

-Oh, our contract termination date is the 19th, so after that day, we won’t be Endorphin anymore. So, I was thinking of holding an event for our fans before then, what do you think?

“What kind of event?”

-A guerrilla mini-concert. It would be a final gift for the people who might be even sadder and miss us more than we do.

-Isn’t that such a fan-foolish idea? This hyung won’t even be able to get married later.

A mini-concert.

My heart pounded. The last stage I would stand on as Endorphin. A gift for those who had been fans for no short time. Just imagining it made my heart swell. I would be able to sing for those who had loved Ira of Endorphin all this time. For those who kept writing letters I never read, for those who sent gifts I barely looked at before throwing them in the trash.

These were the people who were more furious and distraught than me after the cyanide culprit was caught.

Even though I hadn’t been particularly hurt by this new issue or struggled by recalling that day again, I received countless “I love you, Ira” messages on my SNS account. I even felt sorry for myself for only thinking of Kwon Su-han.

When I remained silent, Mun, interpreting it in some way, cautiously asked again. At his words not to feel pressured, I held back surging tears and shouted in response,

“Yes, hyung. I want to perform one more time for the fans. I want to give them a gift too!”

With the help of the agency most likely to sign with us, securing the venue and recruiting staff happened at lightning speed. It was planned as a guerrilla event, but news broke, so it was changed to simply a final concert. Tickets went on sale two days after the announcement and sold out completely in 5 seconds, and not a single cancellation ticket was released, leaving many fans in tears.

Once the planning was complete and we began full-scale practice, less than ten days remained, so we had to practice non-stop.

On the first day of practice, Jae-yi and I couldn’t even make eye contact, but by the second day, we could at least greet each other, and by the third day, we even ate together.

“Hey, can I take a picture?”

“What picture?”

“Seeing you two reconcile and eat tangsuyuk together is so touching, I want to throw some Jae-Ira bait to the fans.”

Han-sae seemed to think the reason for our awkwardness was that we had fought. Or perhaps he knew but was pretending not to. I tried to refuse, but Jae-yi suddenly moved and sat next to me.

“Sure, take it. Take a picture and post it, saying we’re still on good terms.”

Then he picked up a piece of tangsuyuk with his fork, offered it to me, and even put his arm around my shoulder.

“Hey, your arm is heavy. Aren’t you going to take it off?”

“Just eat this.”

“Hmph.”

Jae-yi popped the tangsuyuk right into my mouth. The glutinous rice tangsuyuk was chewy and delicious.

“Taking it now. Look at the camera. One, two!”

I smiled at the camera, my cheeks bursting with food. Han-sae didn’t even show me the picture and immediately uploaded it to SNS. When I snatched his phone to check, my face next to the chic Black Panther looked like a squashed steamed bun, but the fans’ reactions were explosive, so I was satisfied.

After the meal, endless practice continued. It seemed I had the least stamina among the members and couldn’t keep up with the group choreography, but no one rushed or scolded me. I did my best, drenched in sweat and my vision going white, but my body moved even slower.

“I’m going to practice my solo dance, so clear some space for me. You guys can rest for a bit.”

Perhaps he couldn’t bear to watch, so Jae-yi used practicing his sword dance as an excuse to forcibly give me time to rest.

Jae-yi’s solo dance used the entire stage, requiring ample space. The members, forced to rest, sat against the wall or lay down. I also lay down, wiping sweat with a towel, and saw my phone light blinking inside my bag.

32 missed calls [Kwon Su-han]

Why so many calls…? Startled, I quickly grabbed my phone and left the practice room.

Kwon Su-han answered the call as soon as it rang once.

“Hyung, is something wrong? Why are you calling—”

-Nothing’s wrong.

…?

His voice was so cold, it sounded like something was definitely wrong.

-When does practice end today?

“The same… Around 12 o’clock?”

“Do you think a kid who barely eats can last if he practices until 12 for several days? You need to know your limits. I’m in front of the practice room now, so finish up early and come out.”

“What??? No, I’m the one who’s falling behind the most right now, how can I leave!”

I yelled without realizing it. I don’t know why he’s acting so pushy when our awkwardness hasn’t even completely disappeared yet.

“And when I sweat during practice, I eat well. I ate all three meals today.”

“Yes, you had sweet and sour pork, didn’t you? Sticking right next to Kwon Jae-yi.”

His voice sounded like ice cracking.

“You never eat anything with me, but with that Motioner, food seems to go down just fine, doesn’t it?”

“…Because I get hungry while practicing…”

“Eat dinner with me today.”

What is this person really trying to do with me?

He’s such an adult, a calm person, but he keeps checking Jae-yi and doing childish things. I want to ask him how he expects me not to misunderstand.

I somehow felt deflated.

“I really can’t right now. I’ll go around 10, so come pick me up then, or something.”

“10 o’clock? Why, are you going to eat dinner with Kwon Jae-yi later too?”

“..9 o’clock, no, I’ll go at 8. Before that is really impossible.”

“Fine. I’ll starve until you come, so you can contact me when you’re ready.”

Only then did Kwon Su-han’s voice soften a bit, but the content was still childish. How could I not misunderstand when his actions are so inconsistent? I felt a sulky resentment.

“Hyung, something I want to eat came to mind.”

“What is it?”

“I want to eat Gujeolpan, Gochujapchae, and Palbochae.”

“Alright. I’ll prepare it.”

I said it to tease him, but I was more surprised by his quick reply than I expected.

I hung up the phone and stood there for a moment, my head aching. How could this be pity? It’s clearly jealousy, but how am I supposed to interpret this situation? I wish I could just enter Kwon Su-han’s mind and then leave. Maybe if I just confirmed it, my headache would subside a bit.

Even if Kwon Su-han is confusing me, for now, let’s focus on practice. I need to give a gift to my fans.

After composing myself, I returned to the practice room.

Inside the practice room, it was like being on a stormy sea with violent waves. Unlike Soul Aura, Motion Aura can create ‘movement’, so as soon as I opened the door, a fierce wind rushed over me. Jae-yi always creates a perfect illusion, like a real stage, even during his solo dance practice. Jae-yi, dancing a sword dance alone on the rough, stormy sea, was incredibly cool and magnificent.

During Jae-yi’s solo dance practice, when everyone else went to rest, I used to stay alone in the practice room and watch his sword dance. With a fluttering heart, I would etch each cool and magnificent movement into my memory. But what good would recalling those times do now? I went to my bag, closed my eyes, and lay down like the other members.

When I said I’d leave early, the members, as if they had been waiting, exclaimed, “Then practice is over today!!” They reacted with gratitude, saying they had hoped someone would end it early. Yadan even politely thanked me.

It ended earlier than the day before yesterday and yesterday, but my body felt even more tired. As I stumbled out, a firm hand supported me.

“Are you okay? You look tired.”

“Oh, thanks. I just felt a little dizzy.”

“You’ve overexerted yourself for several days. Go in and get some good rest.”

“You too.”

Contrary to telling me to go in and rest, Jae-yi didn’t let go of my waist. His eyes were filled with lingering reluctance. It was just as I lightly placed my hand on the back of Jae-yi’s hand, intending to pull away.

Honk-!!

A sharp horn blast echoed. Startled, I ended up falling into Jae-yi’s arms.

An familiar car was parked on the roadside in front of the practice room. As I tried to calm my pounding heart and recall where I’d seen it, the driver’s door swung open.

“…….”

The tall man striding towards us with a cold, frozen face was Kwon Su-han.

“How long do you plan to hold him? Do you want to get caught on camera?”

“…Ira was stumbling, so I merely supported him. I’m concerned about whether he’s taking good care of his health.”

“I’ll take good care of him myself, so let go now.”

Kwon Su-han, unable to wait for him to let go, grabbed Jae-yi’s wrist. The two men’s gazes clashed. It felt like electricity was about to crackle… Their arms trembled, as if they were having a power struggle.

I subtly slipped out of Jae-yi’s embrace and grabbed Kwon Su-han’s collar.

“Let’s go home. I’m dead tired. And hungry.”

“…Go wait in the car.”

“Let’s go together.”

When I calmly repeated myself, Kwon Su-han let out a deep breath, then released Jae-yi’s arm. Jae-yi and Kwon Su-han’s gazes met again. One with eyes like a cold deep sea, the other with eyes like boiling lava. Jae-yi’s build was bigger, but Kwon Su-han was taller, so Jae-yi was looking up slightly. We were on the roadside, and people could pass by at any moment, so the fierce atmosphere made me uneasy. Just as I was about to rush him again, Kwon Su-han turned his head first.

He glanced at the collar I was holding, then looked at me. The black deep sea held a little warmth when it shone on me…

“Let’s go in, Hyung. I’m hungry.”

He nodded subtly. I said goodbye to Jae-yi with my eyes and headed for the car. Kwon Su-han opened the passenger door for me. I had a feeling Jae-yi would remain standing there, but I couldn’t look back again.

The drive to the apartment wasn’t as tense as I’d expected. Not that any cheerful conversation was exchanged either. I kept my lips sealed, afraid the words “Were you jealous?” would slip out.

As soon as the front door opened, a savory, delicious scent wafted out. It seemed he had already cooked. He told me to wait about 10 minutes, apparently not planning to ask for my help today.

I sat at the dining table, swinging my legs, and watched Kwon Su-han’s back as he finished cooking. How does he make such difficult dishes? It’s amazing.

-Zzzzz-ing.

Kwon Su-han’s phone, placed on the table, received a call.

“Mr. Kwon Su-han, your brother is calling.”

“Answer it.”

I quickly answered the phone.

“Oh, Hyung. What you said…”

“Hyung, it’s me, Ira. Su-han Hyung is busy right now.”

Clatter. Kwon Su-han, who had been busily moving in front of the gas stove, suddenly dropped the ladle. The ladle rolled all the way to the dining table. Surprised, I opened my eyes wide.

“…My hand slipped. Continue with your call.”

For some reason, his ears seemed a bit red, but that must be because he was in front of the stove, right?

I picked up the ladle and placed it on the table.

“Su-han Hyung is busy right now, so I answered the phone. What should I tell him?”

“Oh, Su-han Hyung is busy. Are you about to eat now?”

“Yes, did you eat, Hyung?”

“I did. You’re eating late, Ira. Did you practice hard again today?”

“Yes…”

This Hyung seems to think I don’t notice that his way of speaking subtly becomes younger when he talks to me.

The call ended with him telling me to enjoy my meal.

As soon as the call screen disappeared, an internet browser window popped up. It seemed he had been diligently net-surfing… The search term was [Palbochae Recipe].

Three or four webpages had turned purple.

I almost burst out laughing, but I maintained a professional idol’s poker face to avoid being caught by Kwon Su-han.

I calmly touched the search bar to check the history.

[Endorphin Ira]

[Where to buy Gujeolpan]

[Endorphin Ira]

[Gochujapchae]

[Ira]

[Palbochae]

[Palbochae]

Puh-huh… I tried my best to hold it in, but in the end, I couldn’t suppress my laughter. I clutched the phone, hit the table, and burst out laughing. Tears even welled up slightly. Kwon Su-han, who approached with a look that said, “Is this kid crazy?”, saw the phone in my hand and quickly snatched it away. That sight was so funny that I laughed while eating, while washing, and even right before falling asleep, to the point my stomach ached.