ID Chapter 8

I really ate well today. The seaweed soup was especially the best. My stomach was pleasantly full. I don’t know how long it’s been since I felt this way.

“Ira ate well. If this airs, fans will send a lot of seaweed soup. And steamed king crab.”

At Mun’s words, I froze for a moment, then mumbled a reply, using brushing my teeth as an excuse. Mun patted my head, telling me to finish brushing, and left.

“…….”

I suddenly felt nauseous and spat out all the toothpaste foam. I rinsed my mouth a few times and even washed my face. Since the restroom was right next to the waiting room, and someone might enter suddenly, I went into an inner stall first. I closed the toilet lid and sat on it.

My hands and feet grew cold. I swept back my damp bangs.

Thinking of the fans makes my mood plummet.

Nausea rose again, and I quickly opened the toilet lid.

“Ugh… ugh.”

Clinging to the toilet, I vomited everything I had eaten. Tears welled up. I flushed the toilet, wiped my face roughly with toilet paper, took a few deep breaths, and then came out.

Oh, damn it.

There was no sound of the door opening, yet someone was inside.

Of all people, it was the Aura Adapter doctor who disliked me. I walked towards the sink, feeling self-conscious.

“Every time I see you, you’re clutching the toilet.”

The doctor, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed, said. He must have heard everything.

“Every time you see me?”

“Yes. This is the fourth time I’ve seen you vomit.”

“…….”

That cold gaze felt familiar. Suddenly, I remembered the after-party barbecue restaurant from the MV filming. So it was him back then.

“Do you remember now?”

“The barbecue place, yes. But I don’t remember the rest. I’ve been throwing up so much.”

This guy, why is he using informal language with me? Suppressing my irritation, I stood in front of the sink. A pale, thin boy who looked terrified stood before me. I splashed cold water on my face and roughly dried it with my shirt.

“Did you find the culprit?”

“…….”

Did I hear that wrong? I looked at the doctor through the mirror.

“Excuse me?”

“I asked if you found the culprit.”

“What culprit?”

“Cyanide.”

“…….”

I froze. It felt as if the grim reaper’s scythe was right at my throat.

The only people who knew about that incident were me, Manager Yong-jun, CEO Shin Dong-woo, and the National Forensic Service employee who detected the cyanide.

Besides them, there’s only the culprit…

My body trembled like an aspen leaf. The doctor was tall, and I was thin and weak. The doctor kicks my abdomen, slams my head against the restroom wall. Red blood flows on the ivory tiles. The doctor steps on the blood with his heel, then drags me out by my hair. Outside, Endorphin’s cheering fans are there.

They finally did it. Ira is dead!!

Of course, this was just my imagination. The doctor was merely waiting for my answer with a cold and calm face. I stopped looking in the mirror and turned around to face him directly. I felt like I absolutely couldn’t falter here.

“Kwon Su-han, how do you know about that?”

“..It’s Kwon Su-han, not Choi Su-han.”

“How do you know?”

“Kwon Jin-ho is my younger brother. He confided in me after drinking, saying there was a pitiful idol.”

Kwon Jin-ho is a National Forensic Service researcher. I gathered the finely crushed cookie pieces, crying, and called my Manager Yong-jun. Manager Yong-jun went to CEO Shin Dong-woo, and CEO Shin Dong-woo entrusted it to the National Forensic Service. Three days later, the reply came back: “It contains poison, we will hand it over to the police.” But CEO Shin Dong-woo dissuaded them, saying he would handle it ourselves. I know he also gave them money along with strict instructions not to tell anyone. I, too, personally called and asked them not to inform the outside world.

“He broke his promise then.”

“He kept waiting. For the tragic incident an idol experienced to appear in the news. But even after a week, even after a month, nothing came out. He asked your group’s CEO if the criminal had been caught, but only received the answer to forget about it. It was a complete secret until my brother, feeling guilty, confided in me.”

“..I feel sorry for your brother.”

My head hurts. It felt like an awl was repeatedly poking around my temples.

“Have you received such a threat again?”

“Please don’t tell anyone.”

“Is it even under investigation?”

“We’ve kept it a secret until now, so please keep quiet about it.”

“Do you know who the culprit is?”

“I’m telling you not to stir up the peace we have now.”

「We’ve finally found peace. Let’s not stir things up unnecessarily.」

I recited the words I had heard from CEO Shin Dong-woo exactly. My headache was so severe that my vision was flickering.

“I’ve forgotten everything. Since then, I’ve never received any food with poison in it, and everything is fine now. I’m just thinking of it as stepping in dog poop. Our group and the company wanted to hide it so that such a dirty incident wouldn’t keep following us. I don’t want any more trouble. So you should forget about it too.”

My headache was so severe that I heard ringing in my ears. I closed my eyes as if angry, then opened them when I finished speaking. My head was throbbing, so I pressed my fingers firmly against my temples as I looked at Kwon Su-han.

“Hey. You.”

His calm expression was slightly broken. There were wrinkles between his eyebrows, as if to show that he, too, could be flustered.

“You’re going to let the person who tried to kill you go?”

“…….”

A chill swept over me, so strong I forgot I was in a broadcasting station restroom. I knew this chill. The name of this chill was fear, a cold blade that always followed me.

Even when I returned to the dorm and rested my tired head on the pillow, even when I talked to my mom on the phone about the price of bean sprouts, even when I sang on stage and smiled like an idiot on broadcast, this extreme fear always followed me, making me recall it again and again.

That the person who wanted to kill me, and actually tried to kill me, was walking free outside.

That person could enter a broadcasting station. They could enter the company. They could walk along the roadside, or enter a restaurant. Perhaps they could even hide in the dorm. That person could deceive others, pretending to be a broadcasting station employee, a company employee, or a restaurant employee, and secretly try to kill me. They could do it in any way. That person is free. That attempted murderer is freely roaming outside.

For eight months, I had never escaped this fear. It would probably shackle me for the rest of my life. Because the culprit who caused this fear would never be caught.

“Yes, I’ve decided to forgive, and now I’ve forgotten everything,”

“You’re quite good at lying.”

Before I could even finish my sentence, Kwon Su-han let out an exasperated sigh and pulled a cell phone from his coat. For a moment, I got a chill, wondering if he had been recording our entire conversation, but he merely opened the keypad window and held it out to me.

“Enter the number.”

“Why?”

“If you don’t, I’ll tell a reporter I know.”

“…Are you threatening me right now?”

“Yes.”

Kwon Su-han returned to his cold expression.

“As someone who has coincidentally seen you throwing up four times, I guess I have to resort to this level of threat. Hurry up and enter it.”

I sighed. Why did I have to get caught by someone like this? Why is my life like this…

Reluctantly, I entered the number. In my head, I was already wondering how to tell Yong-jun and the CEO about this.

“Ira.”

Just then, the bathroom door opened. Damn, you scared me. An expletive popped out before I knew it. The door wasn’t even locked, so of course someone could come in. Feeling guilty for no reason, my heart fluttered like a carp leaping out of a pond.

“What are you doing here?”

The person who entered was Jae-yi. Jae-yi looked at my startled face, the cold doctor, and the cell phone in my hand, one after another. Then, in an instant, he stood between the doctor and me.

“Kwon Su-han, what business do you have with Ira?”

Because he had glared at me throughout the filming, already marking him as my anti-fan, Jae-yi’s voice was very stiff.

“He knows my younger brother, so we just exchanged greetings. Ira, finish what you were doing.”

I quickly moved my fingers and entered the number. The doctor took the phone, immediately made a call, listened to the dial tone a few times, and then hung up.

“You’d better answer my calls. Then I’ll see you later.”

The doctor left me with an annoying greeting, then coldly ignored Jae-yi’s intense gaze as if he didn’t feel it at all, and calmly walked away.

The usually polite Jae-yi didn’t even nod his head at him, and as soon as he left, Jae-yi slammed the bathroom door shut and came closer.

“I came because you were taking too long, were you caught by that bastard? What did that motherfucker rant about?”

“No… his younger brother really knows me. He’s someone I lost contact with a long time ago, so I gave him my contact information.”

“A long time ago? When? Advanced? Meltago? Guknipsi?”

“Even longer ago, it exists. You wouldn’t know. And what would you do if you did know, you jerk?”

“Then why was he glaring at you during the filming?”

“I don’t know. He probably just wasn’t sure because it’s been a long time since we last met. Hey, let’s go. Everyone will be waiting. We can’t be late for the schedule like this.”

I tried to grab Jae-yi’s arm and pull him, but he was as solid as a rock and didn’t move an inch.

“Are you showing off your strength?”

As I glared at him, Jae-yi instead grabbed my wrist that was holding him.

“I get a dangerous feeling from that doctor. Absolutely do not answer his calls. Just take his brother’s contact information and ignore him.”

“What are you talking about? Since when did you become a fortune teller?”

“Ira. Answer me properly.”

“…I was going to do that anyway.”

“Alright. Let’s go.”

Perhaps my answer pleased him, as his stiff voice softened a little. I also felt a little relieved by Jae-yi’s concern.

Jae-yi’s large and firm hand was still holding my wrist. While his unnecessarily sharp perceptiveness sometimes stressed me, mostly it felt good. I hoped he would continue to worry about me to this extent, completely forgetting the sight of me waking up at dawn to throw away a fan’s gift.