LRAPTC Chapter 20

Chapter 20: Birthday (3)

Liking someone you shouldn’t like. The first thing Shen Jue did upon waking was to confirm whether everything that had happened last night was real. He opened his eyes and saw the paper bag placed on the table, the one Ji Yuanan had used to hold the gift. It made him inevitably recall the scene from last night when Ji Yuanan handed him the gift. This was real.

So the gift he received was real, the cake last night was real, and Ji Yuanan’s earnest gaze was naturally real as well. Ji Yuanan not only knew his birthday but also celebrated it specially for him. Shen Jue should have been pleasantly surprised, but for the first time, he would have preferred to spend his birthday alone, without receiving any gifts, because that way, he could continue to deceive himself that he hadn’t fallen for Ji Yuanan.

Shen Jue also didn’t need Ji Yuanan’s half-real, half-fake concern.

The small bear Yu Zhuo had given him was lying next to him, its entire body sinking into the soft pillow, most of it covered snugly by the blanket.

Shen Jue stirred and reached out to pull it out. Then, he gently hooked the bear’s hand. The soft, real touch made it impossible for him to ignore. He gently closed his eyes, recalling the gentle touch of Ji Yuanan’s fingers in his mind. It should be a little warmer than this bear.

Minutes passed, and Shen Jue still couldn’t find any solution to his troubles. Emotions weren’t like math problems; there was no standard answer, no fixed formula, leaving Shen Jue at a loss. He lingered in bed for a while, eventually giving up and going downstairs. As he walked out of his room, he secretly prayed that he wouldn’t run into Ji Yuanan later.

Perhaps Shen Jue’s prayers were too sincere; Ji Yuanan had indeed already left. Shen Jue didn’t see Ji Yuanan’s figure and breathed a sigh of relief. He entered the dining room as usual and, unsurprisingly, saw the sticky note on the refrigerator.

Ji Yuanan had listed the breakfast items on it as always, but this time Shen Jue only paused for a few seconds before turning to get the prepared breakfast, without tearing off the note.

On the first day of turning twenty-five, Shen Jue sat at the dining table and finished his breakfast, calmly accepting the reality.

Life went on.

Ji Yuanan was mostly not at home. Except for meal times, the two hardly met, as if life was no different from before. But there was still one difference.

On the second day after Shen Jue resolved to ignore the sticky notes, Ji Yuanan himself replaced it with a new one on the refrigerator. He left a sentence at the end of the note: “Did you not like yesterday’s breakfast?”

It was just a very simple question, but after seeing this sentence, Shen Jue was completely stunned. He hadn’t expected that his actions would give Ji Yuanan such an idea. But he couldn’t tell Ji Yuanan, “Because I like you, I want to stay away from you.”

“No.” Shen Jue couldn’t think of a reasonable explanation and could only use the most direct words to reply below. Looking at his reply, he felt for the first time that words could be so pale and unconvincing.

But Ji Yuanan didn’t ask any further questions, as if he believed Shen Jue. Or perhaps Ji Yuanan simply didn’t care and was just casually asking out of good manners. Shen Jue told himself this. From daytime on, he successively received the news that Yu Zhuo was leaving tomorrow morning, and dozens of messages waiting to be replied to successfully diverted his attention.

So Shen Jue stopped thinking about it.

The plane that Yu Zhuo was taking took off at ten o’clock sharp. Shen Jue and Yu Zhuo walked side by side. The wheels of Yu Zhuo’s suitcase rolled on the ground, making a loud noise when they hit uneven surfaces.

A few seconds later, Yu Zhuo stopped first, abruptly asking Shen Jue, “Jue, did you sleep well last night?”

Shen Jue subconsciously wanted to retort, but the words stopped at his lips, because he realized that he really hadn’t slept well last night.

Seeing Shen Jue not speaking, Yu Zhuo continued, “If you have any troubles, you can try talking to me about them. Maybe… I can help you think of a solution.”

“If you have a friend who falls in love with someone they shouldn’t, what would you do?”

“Is that friend of yours you?” Yu Zhuo asked back.

“…No.”

Shen Jue denied it decisively. Seeing this, Yu Zhuo could only skip the topic and ask, “Then okay. But what do you mean by ‘someone they shouldn’t like’?”

Someone they shouldn’t like. Shen Jue replied, “You can assume that the person they like already has someone they love.”

Yu Zhuo listened silently, first showing a rather sympathetic expression, sighing softly, “Sounds like it feels a bit miserable.” Then he seemed to discover something, making an “eh” sound, and said, “But how are you sure that person already has someone they like?”

Yu Zhuo’s question really stumped Shen Jue, and Shen Jue returned to a state of silence. However, Yu Zhuo seemed to just be simply confused. Without waiting for Shen Jue to speak, he said again, “And about whether you like someone or not, I think it’s better to ask the person themselves, right?”

“After all,” Yu Zhuo paused, “only the person themselves knows for sure.”

At this moment, several young girls passed by them, enthusiastically discussing the upcoming trip and the next itinerary, and a burst of hearty laughter suddenly rang out from the passing crowd, breaking the silence between them.

Yu Zhuo spoke the next second: “You’ve really changed a lot.”

“Do you still remember the time we played a game at a party, and you were unfortunately selected and had to answer a question? The question was, if you fell in love with a friend, would you choose to confess or continue being friends. Do you remember what you said?”

“You said,” Yu Zhuo looked at Shen Jue, saying each word carefully, “Of course, I’d confess. I don’t care if we can continue being friends in the future.”

Shen Jue recalled that after he had brazenly said these words at that party, he had unsurprisingly received a lot of shocked glances from the people around him. Those people’s gazes probed him without concealment, scrutinizing and inquisitive, but at the time, Shen Jue didn’t care about what others thought of him, how they looked at him. His expression unchanged, he stared at the glass of wine in front of him, sitting on the leather sofa without moving.

So this was probably a belated punishment for him, and now Shen Jue thought that he had spoken so casually and easily at the time, but he was far from being able to be as free and easy as he had said.

“Although I don’t know what happened between you, it’s better to talk it out as soon as possible. I think the result should be a little better than you imagine,” Yu Zhuo added from the side.

After speaking, to comfort his friend, Yu Zhuo released the handle of his suitcase and gently hugged Shen Jue.

He asked in Shen Jue’s ear, “Did you feel any gazes?”

“I always feel like I’m being watched.” He quickly released Shen Jue, the entire hug lasting only a few seconds. “This feeling reminds me of the last time, the way your friend looked at me.”

Yu Zhuo still remembered it to this day.

Mentioning Ji Yuanan gave Shen Jue a headache, and he said helplessly, “Ji Yuanan isn’t here now.”

“Of course, I know he isn’t.” Yu Zhuo muttered softly, not daring to let Shen Jue hear him, “If he were, I guess I might not be able to go back.”

Shen Jue didn’t hear the second half of Yu Zhuo’s sentence clearly and subconsciously made a puzzled monosyllabic sound: “Hmm?”

Yu Zhuo smiled and said, “It’s nothing.”

“Since that’s the case, I’ll go in first.” He said goodbye to Shen Jue.

Seeing his friend pulling his suitcase to leave, Shen Jue didn’t forget to remind him, “Remember to send me a message when you arrive.”

But Yu Zhuo just waved his hand and walked into the airport without looking back.

After seeing Yu Zhuo off, Shen Jue had nothing to do, and he wasn’t in a hurry to go back, so he simply wandered around nearby. There was a shopping mall not far from the airport. Shen Jue, passing by, turned a corner as if possessed and went inside.

It was still early, and there weren’t many people in the mall. Shen Jue walked into a general store selling all sorts of strange little things. A wooden sign saying “Open” hung on the door. As soon as he pushed the door open and entered, he was attracted by the dazzling array of trinkets in the store.

Shen Jue looked at the ceramic cup on the shelf, the astronaut standing on the lid with his head raised, leaning against the moon. He suddenly wondered if he should also give Ji Yuanan a birthday gift, if he hadn’t left by then. Then he remembered that he didn’t seem to know Ji Yuanan’s birthday yet, nor did he know Ji Yuanan’s preferences.

Shen Jue looked around and couldn’t find a cup of the same style as the one Ji Yuanan had given him.

But by that time, he should have already left. Shen Jue walked to the end, a wall of plush toys. He thought they had agreed early on that once Ji Yuanan found someone he truly liked, their marriage contract would be considered over.

Actually, it wasn’t very sad.

The moment Shen Jue walked out of the general store, he finally belatedly experienced the feeling called “sadness.” That kind of feeling was like clearly sensing a part of his body leaving him bit by bit.

Walking around a corner, he found a flower shop. A small flower stand was placed at the entrance, filled with flowers that Shen Jue didn’t recognize, but the person who arranged the flowers had obviously put a lot of thought into the layout. It not only didn’t look cluttered but was also very pleasing to the eye. A shop assistant wearing a uniform saw him and took the initiative to promote, “Handsome, would you like to come in and take a look at the flowers?”

Too enthusiastic, making it impossible for Shen Jue to refuse. He could only nod, then followed the shop assistant into the store. A faint floral fragrance floated in the air, which smelled very good.

The shop assistant introduced to him, “Every flower has its own flower language. Who are you planning to give it to? Perhaps I can help you choose.”

Shen Jue was absentmindedly looking at the interior decoration, a spider plant hanging on the shop assistant’s right side, and without thinking, he blurted out, “Someone I like.”

As soon as he finished speaking, he truly realized what he had said and felt somewhat annoyed. Shen Jue thought that he had probably really become a bit strange, as if his body no longer belonged to him, and even his brain had left with it.

The shop assistant seemed to be used to this kind of answer and smiled, his eyes crinkling.

In the end, Shen Jue walked out of the flower shop holding a large bouquet of orange juice patio roses. Perhaps the scene of a handsome man holding flowers was too rare and pleasing to the eye. On the way back, Shen Jue received a lot of attention from passersby.

Shen Jue pretended not to see. He looked down at the pile of roses and still gave up the idea of throwing the flowers into the trash can in the next second.

Shen Jue had just returned home when he happened to run into Ji Yuanan coming down the stairs. Ji Yuanan was wearing a pair of black-rimmed glasses, and he met Shen Jue’s gaze at the door.

The distance was too far, and Shen Jue couldn’t see Ji Yuanan’s expression clearly, but he could vaguely sense that Ji Yuanan wasn’t in a good mood.

“Maybe he’s just too tired from work,” he guessed, walking step by step towards Ji Yuanan, then stopping in front of Ji Yuanan. Then he reached out and handed the bouquet over, saying, “My return gift.”