Chapter 3 Part 15

“What blind bastard would dare to do something like that to me. No, it wasn’t even that grand… Ugh, I sound ridiculous even saying this. It’s just that the guy I like just subtly touched me, and I got all excited like a kid and just… got hard in front of him. I just got hard, but…”

Jeong Tae-ui hesitated for a moment, unsure what to say next. Silence returned from the other side as well. The fingers that had stopped slowly tapped the desk one by one; it was a sign that he didn’t quite understand.

He mumbled, “Why is that…” before suddenly mumbling, “Ah-ha,” as if he understood.

‘So, did you molest him? It seems you regret that.’

Ilay League-row, again, jumped to a strange conclusion.

Jeong Tae-ui stared at the monitor with a bewildered expression, then sighed.

“No, it’s not like that. I didn’t get hard in bed or in an intimate setting. I got hard in front of someone who doesn’t feel that way about me, while we were normally drinking tea and talking.”

‘Hmm…?’

Fingers tapped the desk, tap, tap. Now, even by the shape and movement of his hands, Jeong Tae-ui could roughly tell. It meant he still didn’t quite understand.

‘I don’t really know. It’s not that I can’t guess how your mind works… That kind of shame is a feeling I haven’t experienced, so it’s hard for me to understand, but it doesn’t help you at all in life. If it were me, I’d rather recommend you just go for it, since you already got hard. Rather than just looking frustrated and agonizing over it with a flushed face.’

Jeong Tae-ui frowned. He rubbed his face with his palm, wondering if it was still flushed. Perhaps he shouldn’t have drunk alcohol.

“Go for it, you say… What about the other person’s feelings?”

Ilay League-row did not answer. Rather than not knowing or still thinking, he seemed to be refraining from answering. Hearing the nuanced, almost amused tone of his “Well…”, Jeong Tae-ui realized that this man had his own answer but was deliberately not voicing it. And Jeong Tae-ui, sensing this, didn’t press him further.

‘If it were me, I’d just sleep with someone I desired. I don’t think emotions are worth agonizing over, they’re just temporary whims. Or, perhaps I should say, I don’t see momentary desire as inferior to lasting emotion—if such a thing even exists.’

“Are you a hedonist?”

‘For now.’

He affirmed with a laugh. Jeong Tae-ui also nodded. Although he couldn’t fully agree with the man’s way of thinking, he understood what he was trying to say. Jeong Tae-ui didn’t disregard pleasure either. But still, his way of thinking differed significantly from this man’s in some aspects.

Jeong Tae-ui chuckled, stroking the back of his neck.

Aside from their differing opinions, this kind of free-flowing conversation wasn’t bad. In that respect, talking with this man was enjoyable.

Suddenly, Ilay League-row burst into laughter, for reasons Jeong Tae-ui couldn’t quite grasp. A low laugh followed briefly.

‘Every time I talk with you, I think about this, but you really are different from Jeong Jae-ui in many ways.’

“Of course, we’re different people. Have you been talking to me all this time, looking for traces of my brother?”

‘Not exactly, but the thought of you being Jeong Jae-ui’s brother has always remained in my mind.’

Jeong Tae-ui let out a sigh mixed with a laugh, saying, “What was that?”

Was this man another one of those who approached him out of interest in the genius Jeong Jae-ui? No, but it was hard to say he approached him with malicious intent, as there was no clear deliberateness. It would be more accurate to say that Ilay League-row simply found Jeong Tae-ui more interesting because he was Jeong Jae-ui’s brother.

He was past the age of feeling upset by such things, and such situations had become so frequent as to be a part of his life, so it was no longer a big deal.

“You’re very interested in my brother.”

When Jeong Tae-ui subtly led with that, the man merely laughed it off nonchalantly.

‘Is there anyone not interested in the genius Jeong Jae-ui? At least not around me.’

“Haha, right. So, what do you think after comparing our differences?”

‘Hmm? Comparison… I’ve never consciously compared you two, but alright, let me think. …It comes to mind without much thought.’

“Oh, and what is it?”

‘Jeong Jae-ui is more human. In many ways.’

Jeong Tae-ui fell silent. Most of what the man said was surprising, but this remark was particularly unexpected. It was something he had never heard before—at least not openly—and something he had never even thought himself.

In many ways, Jeong Jae-ui is more human.

Jeong Tae-ui let out a bitter “Hmm.” Of course, he had never once considered himself overflowing with humanity. But he hadn’t expected to hear something like that. He knew very well that, contrary to people’s prejudices about geniuses, Jeong Jae-ui was a person rich in very human qualities.

“It seems I’ve done something incredibly callous to you without realizing it, or perhaps my brother has shown you great kindness. If I misheard that by even an inch, it would be an insult.”

‘That’s not what I mean. For example… yes. Perhaps it’s that Jeong Jae-ui would suffer more from anxiety and anguish than you. That’s what makes him human.’

Jeong Tae-ui was speechless again.

The man’s words, uttered casually and without much thought, seemed particularly striking and unexpected today.

Anxiety and anguish. Perhaps. Unless he had been inside his brother’s head, how could he possibly know what was in there? As long as one couldn’t extract individual feelings as absolute numerical values, it wasn’t a matter of comparing who was more or less anxious than whom.

“But objectively speaking, my brother is so lucky that one might think he wouldn’t know what anxiety and anguish are. He’s the kind of person who left home saying he wanted to experience misfortune himself.”

Jeong Tae-ui mumbled, shaking his head. Ilay League-row watched him silently for a while. For some reason, it felt as though he was smiling from beyond the monitor.