SM Chapter 46

Chapter 46: An Exchange of Glances

“But Mom, he doesn’t like me…”

Every June, a batch of children gains liberation.

Although they will soon discover that attending university is not the “complete liberation” or “play however you want” that they heard, the first to experience the immediate effects of the college entrance exam ending is Zhu Shihao.

The reason is simple: Liu Ruoyin also gained her triennial period of liberation.

After a short break of about ten days, feeling deeply bored, she was inspired by a colleague and began to find potential partners for Zhu Shihao.

She is a very driven and proactive person. No sooner had she told Zhu Shihao than, three days later, Zhu Shihao received the first batch of information, a total of four people.

Liu Ruoyin was also very considerate: “Pick the ones you like, you don’t have to go through all of them, but you can if you want.”

Zhu Shihao: “…”

Looking at the four photos, she fell into contemplation, thinking that her mother’s proactiveness was truly something.

“What are you looking at?”

“Ah? Ah.” Almost reflexively, she pressed the power button to turn off the screen, placed it face down, and said with a solemn expression, “I didn’t, there’s nothing.”

Tan Zhi Xu, who was just asking casually, paused, standing a meter away and staring at her for a full ten seconds before continuing to walk towards her, the glass knocking out a crisp sound on the table.

Sitting down beside her, he looked at her, posture casual but his gaze fixed intently: “Do you think I’ll believe you if you act like this?”

Realizing it, she also recognized that it was a bit of an overreaction.

After thinking about it, Zhu Shihao still told him the truth hesitantly: “It’s my mom.”

“Mm.” He nodded. “And then?”

Zhu Shihao cautiously assessed his expression, even though she couldn’t quite articulate what she wanted to see.

“She’s recommending potential dates to me.”

Zhu Shihao, keeping her eyes on his face, gained nothing. The man in front of her remained composed and calm, his face serene, without any reaction.

He just raised his eyelids and slowly said, “Is that so?”

At that moment, Zhu Shihao clearly felt the disappointment welling up in her heart, tasting the sourness that was bubbling out.

She didn’t see his fingers twitch for a second, then slowly close and open again.

“Mm.” Afraid of revealing something, she pretended to be nonchalant, complaining, “I think she’s just too bored now that the senior three students have graduated.”

Tan Zhi Xu lightly hummed in agreement.

She tried to find something different about Tan Zhi Xu, but in fact, he seemed no different from usual that night. He didn’t offer comfort or retaliate on purpose.

His reaction to the news was even less significant than Yang Xu’s “Treasure yourself!”

They still talked and chatted, still hugged and kissed.

This made Zhu Shihao feel as if they really were just bed partners, and outside the bedroom, no one spoke of love.

Or perhaps, he really didn’t love her.

The next day, Tan Zhi Xu dropped her off at Jinxi. Zhu Shihao didn’t reflect her inner emotions on her face.

As she was carrying her bag, closing the car door and about to leave, his voice came from behind.

“Shihao.”

She turned around at his call, tilting her head slightly to look at the person inside the car.

Tan Zhi Xu had both hands on the steering wheel, simply turning his head to look at her, his gaze calm, a faint smile appearing on his face.

“Shihao, remember what I told you, keep your eyes open, not just anyone will do.”

After a long while of not hearing her speak, the two of them looked at each other for a moment, he spoke again, “Did you hear me?”

“Mm, I know.”

Zhu Shihao could only respond, afraid he would see something. She also curled her lips, smiling at him.

Steadily gazing at her, feeling that this smile was a bit jarring, Tan Zhi Xu narrowed his eyes slightly.

“Okay, I’m leaving. I’ll pick you up tonight.”

Zhu Shihao gently “Mm”ed, raised her hand to wave goodbye, knowing that he would watch her leave first, and also unable to maintain her expression, she turned around quickly and walked towards the commercial street.

Watching her figure disappear behind the buildings, Tan Zhi Xu rolled up the car window, started the car, his lips pressed into a straight line, his expression turning cold.

Even after a night had passed, his thoughts were still confused, not knowing what to say, or what he could say.

Slightly lowering his eyes, he could only comfort himself.

At least, not today.

However, no matter how unwilling, things don’t always go as wished.

Zhu Shihao declined for two days. On the third day, Liu Ruoyin went directly to Ruili. Similarly, she was locked outside because she couldn’t open the door.

When she received the call, she was still at work, so she explained briefly and gave her the password.

Fortunately, Liu Ruoyin didn’t think much about it. On the contrary, she was very satisfied with her vigilance, only reminding her that single women should pay more attention to safety.

After hanging up, Zhu Shihao stared blankly at her phone.

Realizing that she really couldn’t regain her focus and state of mind, she decided to leave work early.

Thinking about how she had to return to Ruili today, she skillfully pressed the number keypad, but when she came back to her senses, the familiar eleven-digit number with his name appeared on the dialing interface.

With a guilty pause, Zhu Shihao was silent for a long time, her fingertip landing on the cross.

She opened WeChat.

Shihao: 【Zhi Xu, my mom went to my place, I’m taking a taxi back.】

She didn’t exit, but stayed in the chat dialogue box, not knowing if she was waiting for something.

After about a minute or two, she saw the top change to “Typing…”, her fingers curled up, just waiting there blankly.

However, only a few simple words came back.

Zhi Xu: 【Mm, call me if you need anything.】

These were words he had said for many years, so familiar that it made her feel as if the intimacy of the past six months didn’t exist, as if it was all an illusion.

She took a taxi back to Ruili.

Liu Ruoyin had already boiled water and made herself some pear slices, sitting on the sofa looking at her phone. Hearing the door open, she turned her head and glanced at her, then picked up her water glass and walked towards her.

“Mom, are you here alone?”

Putting her water glass on the dining table, Liu Ruoyin pulled out a chair and sat down: “Otherwise? Your dad doesn’t have a vacation.”

After washing her hands, Zhu Shihao poured herself a glass of water, and the mother and daughter sat at the dining table, as if in a negotiation.

“Speak, why don’t you want to?” Liu Ruoyin asked her directly.

She perfectly embodied the temperament of a teacher.

Zhu Shihao was silent for a moment: “Mom, I think my current state is very good, and I don’t want to change it for the time being.”

Whether it was being busy with work or busy with Tan Zhi Xu, she felt that it was all very good.

But this reason couldn’t convince Liu Ruoyin. She calmly took a sip of water and slowly put down the glass: “Shihao, you should know, I can’t accept this reason.”

She looked at the daughter opposite her, who resembled her father. Her personality was the best in the family, she was good-looking, and she didn’t make her parents worry. Since she was young, everyone had praised her.

However, they had never heard this good daughter talk about love, even though they had never restricted her since she went to college.

“You can say it’s not good after trying, but you can’t try to change your parents’ rather old-fashioned thinking without even trying.” Liu Ruoyin didn’t shy away from her own old-fashioned ideas.

Zhu Shihao just held the cup with both hands, looking at the clear water inside, without saying a word.

“You being alone, we will always worry about you.” Liu Ruoyin watched her daughter’s expression. “If you’ve tried and still think it’s not good, or that being alone is better, then maybe we can compromise, but not now.”

Zhu Shihao’s immediate rejection without even trying made her more and more suspicious that there might be something going on, and this was what worried her the most.

Thinking of this, Liu Ruoyin also paused.

“Do you remember the daughter of Aunt Li’s family? She’s three years older than you, the one whose boyfriend Aunt Li and them didn’t agree with and forced them to break up, and said she wouldn’t date anymore when they broke up. In the past two years, every time I meet Aunt Li, she says she regrets it. If she hadn’t disagreed back then, maybe her grandson would be in kindergarten now.”

“Shihao, tell Mom honestly, do you have someone you like that’s why you’re not dating?”

Zhu Shihao’s breathing hitched. She tried her best to remain calm, not revealing anything.

Liu Ruoyin continued to ask her, “I know my daughter. She seems easy to talk to, but she’s actually as stubborn as your dad, not someone who gives up easily.”

There was a deeper meaning in these words.

Zhu Shihao raised her eyes, her expression calm: “Mom, what do you want to say?”

Liu Ruoyin wasn’t interrupted in her thoughts, and as if she hadn’t heard her question, she continued to say her own words.

“I remember you writing love letters back then. Later, it seemed like I never heard any news again, and I never saw you dating. Although for so many years I always felt it was unlikely, these days I can’t help but wonder if that’s the case.”

Once a person relaxed, their thoughts would unconsciously open up, and she inexplicably thought about a lot of things.

Since the words “love letter” entered her ears, Zhu Shihao almost instantly stiffened, the hand holding the cup slightly shaking.

Back then, Tan Zhi Xu “betrayed” her extremely smoothly. Although Liu Ruoyin punished her, she still respected her daughter’s youthful ignorance. She just took it and glanced over it roughly, then folded it up, not looking at the contents of that draft paper.

But bringing it up again and asking such a question, she was still afraid of being discovered as the recipient of the past.

“Shihao, did you give him the letter later?”

Liu Ruoyin’s voice suddenly softened, and her expression as she looked at her daughter was also very gentle.

The atmosphere fell into a delicate silence, and even the flowing air seemed to slow down.

After the love letter draft incident, the Zhu family never mentioned it again. Her parents’ control over her wasn’t any stricter because of this. They just let things pass by calmly, as if nothing had happened.

She never thought that after nearly ten years, it would be brought up again by her parents.

Looking into her mother’s eyes, Zhu Shihao suddenly calmed down again.

“No.” After nine years, she said frankly, “I was going to give it, Mom, I was going to give it.”

This was the first time she had brought up this matter. In front of her mother, her vulnerability came suddenly. All these years, she had been comforting herself, and the suppressed grievances suddenly burst out, her eyes already red as she spoke.

Having never seen her daughter like this, Liu Ruoyin also felt sad, as well as a vague sense of self-blame: “I knew it all along, my daughter wouldn’t give up so easily.”

Zhu Shihao couldn’t help but pout: “I was prepared to be obedient. I could give it to him, and then we could work hard together to get into the same university.”

“But Mom, he doesn’t like me, the one he likes isn’t me.”

Tan Zhi Xu didn’t like her. Even if she was by his side for so long, she could be omnipresent, but she could never be seen in the lens of love.

Zhu Shihao got his favor, but not his love.

Liu Ruoyin’s eyes also turned red. She frowned, the words turned a few times at her lips, but she still asked, “What about now, Shihao, do you still like him?”

Like, how could she not like him?

If she didn’t like him, how could she have kissed Tan Zhi Xu’s lips under the influence of that negligible amount of alcohol.

But she knew that she couldn’t say these words in front of her mom.

“I don’t know.”

Upon hearing this, Liu Ruoyin was silent for a moment before saying, “Shihao, try it, try seeing other people.”

Having said all that, she personally upgraded and doubled her mother’s worries. Zhu Shihao could only lower her head and quietly “Mm” in agreement.

When she sent Liu Ruoyin away, she still said the words she had struggled with several times: “Mom, don’t tell anyone about this, don’t ask anyone about it.”

With this “ask”, her original intention was mainly directed at Tan Zhi Xu.

She was afraid that her mother would want to know who he was, what the situation was, and would run to find Tan Zhi Xu.

Liu Ruoyin turned her head and looked deeply at her: “I know, I won’t say anything.”