SABA Chapter 30

Jiang Tiao put down his chopsticks with a “splat.”

Luo Xingwen tried his best to understand, but failed. He saw Jiang Tiao’s eyes almost cramping, and sincerely advised, “Just say what you want, stop making eyes, our brains don’t connect, I don’t understand.”

Jiang Tiao almost spat out a mouthful of blood. Who was he not speaking directly for, to avoid dating rumors!

“Forget it,” Jiang Tiao waved his hand, his heart weary. Seeing as you’re a decent person, I’ll help you take the hit.

Luo Xingwen: “……”

Facts proved that Murphy’s Law, which states that what you fear will happen, has some scientific basis. Just as Luo Xingwen and Jiang Tiao reached a consensus on their lack of tacit understanding, the director announced that the first round of the game was a tacit understanding challenge.

The program team generously dug several one-meter-deep pits on the beach, filled the bottoms with acupressure mats, and placed a huge partition in the middle. Two people in the same group stood on balance beams on either side of the partition. One described and the other guessed. Correct answers scored points, and incorrect answers caused the balance beam to rotate and the guest to fall.

All groups answered at least one question correctly. Only Jiang Tiao and Luo Xingwen were punished every single time.

[Hahahaha, I’ve watched so many similar games, and this is the first time I’ve seen a pair unable to answer even one question. Their lack of tacit understanding is truly incredible hahahaha.]

[Describe in three words, each word not exceeding two characters. Two words, “legs,” “blackened.” Jiang Tiao’s first reaction was actually “bruise,” hahahaha.]

[Plants, moo, three words. Jiang Tiao even said “morning glory vine” but still couldn’t guess “morning glory.” Hahahaha.]

[Sweet and sour, red, fruit. Luo Luo guessed Chinese bayberry, strawberry, plum, tomato, pomegranate, cherry, and red pomelo, but never “hawthorn.”]

[Night sky, passing, light – shooting star. I think it’s still quite accurate, but Luo Xingwen insisted on guessing “fireworks” [pitiful].]

[Although, “fireworks” isn’t wrong either [bitter smile].]

[The only mistake is that these two people’s thought processes are completely misaligned.]

[Hahahaha, isn’t having no tacit understanding at all a kind of tacit understanding in itself?]

Jiang Tiao and Luo Xingwen fell into the acupressure mat-filled sandpit together again. He was almost in despair.

“I finally understand the Little Mermaid now,” Jiang Tiao limped from the center of the pit to the edge and climbed out. “She truly loved the prince with all her heart. If she had loved him any less, she would have stabbed the prince in the heart with the knife as soon as she came ashore!”

“Can we give up this round and directly enter the next one?” Jiang Tiao gritted his teeth in pain, trying to distract himself by talking.

Luo Xingwen numbly listened to Jiang Tiao talk about everything from the Little Mermaid killing her unfaithful lover to the unreasonable rules of the game, while reaching out to help Jiang Tiao out of the pit and then letting Jiang Tiao pull him out. They had gone through this routine so many times that they could accurately grasp the method.

Jiang Tiao had been talking for a long time without any feedback or agreement from Luo Xingwen. He was very surprised, “One meter high, falling down, acupressure mats, so many times, doesn’t it hurt you at all?!”

Luo Xingwen looked at him coldly. He was in pain. Not only did his feet hurt, but because of last night, his whole body ached. The unspeakable place behind him hurt even more. This kind of game was simply torture for him now. He was afraid that if he fell a few more times, he would have to open his mouth and report an injury and withdraw from the recording.

“I really didn’t expect this,” Jiang Tiao said with emotion, “that you are actually a tough guy.”

“……” Luo Xingwen almost couldn’t resist rolling his eyes in front of the camera, “Thank you so much!”

“You’re welcome, you’re welcome,” Jiang Tiao was about to make a few jokes when he saw Chu Xu standing on the balance beam on the other side, looking down at them with a gloomy expression.

Jiang Tiao: “……”

This is truly unbelievable.

“Compared to him, I think that guy Chu Yunhao is quite good,” Jiang Tiao couldn’t help but say, “at least he’s a normal person.”

Luo Xingwen froze for a moment, and after a while, he gave Jiang Tiao a questioning look.

Luo Xingwen’s reaction made it hard to believe he had no intentions towards Chu Yunhao. But wasn’t it he himself who had cruelly broken up and severed ties back then? Jiang Tiao was truly confused.

It was the first time Luo Xingwen truly understood what Jiang Tiao’s eyes were trying to convey. However, he could only offer a bitter smile and was speechless.

Perhaps it was because they remembered someone they were both familiar with, Jiang Tiao and Luo Xingwen achieved surprising tacit understanding in the last few rounds, answering three questions in a row, which stunned the audience and the director.

[Are they cheating? They even managed to guess things like ‘crabgrass seedling’! ]

[It must be because they said something!! It was those few words with the mic covered!]

[Protest! Strong protest! Is there anything that VIPs are not allowed to hear!!]

[Why does it feel like the relationship between these two is actually quite good?]

[What’s wrong with Chu Di? He looks like someone owes him millions. I think he’s glaring so hard at Jiang Tiao that he’s going to shoot sparks.]

[What you can’t get, you always crave.]

[Please don’t spread rumors. Chu Xu only looks over there because he has a good relationship with Luo. When you’re with a group of unfamiliar people, don’t you subconsciously look at familiar people?]

[Are you still trying to save Luo now? Sorry, Luo doesn’t need friends who stab him in the back at the slightest provocation.]

The games before lunch were all guessing words or songs, which made Jiang Tiao miserable. Since his head was injured, his four years of memory were completely wiped out, let alone the popular songs of the past four years. If it weren’t for Luo Xingwen being somewhat reliable, they might have directly booked last place.

The last game before lunch was a treasure hunt in the landmark ancient building snack street. The director team provided a long list of specialty snacks, and each group had a budget of one hundred yuan. The more types of snacks they could buy, the more points they would get.

Jiang Tiao was originally supposed to act with Luo Xingwen, but Luo Xingwen’s fans were too numerous. Even though he was fully equipped with a hat and mask, he still couldn’t escape being recognized and surrounded.

Jiang Tiao tried several times and found that no matter what method he used to try and help Luo Xingwen, the result was that they would both be surrounded. After many failed attempts, they had to split up. One person was responsible for attracting the crowd, and the other was responsible for quickly purchasing the listed snacks while the crowd was distracted and the queue thinned.

Jiang Tiao had never browsed a snack street like this before. It was like engaging in guerrilla warfare, using feints and diversions, and the “surround Wei to save Zhao” tactic. Amidst the mess, there was a hint of sadness.

In front of the cold jellyfish snack stall, Jiang Tiao met Shu Tongtong, who was also acting alone. Jiang Tiao remembered that Shu Tongtong’s partner in the same group was Chu Xu. They looked at each other and immediately felt a sense of shared sympathy, like fellow travelers in distress.

“How many have you bought?” Shu Tongtong was the first to speak.

“Gathering intelligence, Sister Tongtong,” Jiang Tiao grinned and held up the bag from the snack stall, “This is only the fifth item, and I’m almost squeezed into meat paste.”

Seeing Jiang Tiao’s slightly wronged appearance amidst the chaos, Shu Tongtong really wanted to laugh. “No wonder all your fans are ‘mom fans.’ If I had a child, I’d want to have one like you.”

Jiang Tiao: “????”

Why did everyone like to take advantage of him recently?

“No way, Sister Tongtong, you’re still so young, and you’re already thinking about what kind of child you want to have?”

Everyone likes to hear nice words. Shu Tongtong giggled.

Jiang Tiao asked the boss to divide the prepared cold jellyfish into two bowls, one for himself and one for Shu Tongtong.

Shu Tongtong was a little surprised. She debuted as a comedian. She was short and plump, and her style was humorous. There was no lack of gentlemanly behavior and care in variety shows, but that was usually for pretty girls. In competitions like this, she was always the one being pushed around, tricked, and contributing to the funny moments.

She held the half portion of cold jellyfish she received, suppressed the warmth in her heart, and deliberately exaggerated, “That’s so nice, giving us one for free?”

Jiang Tiao’s upbringing dictated that he always showed extra care to girls. In the thirty-degree heat, he, a boy, was sweating profusely from being pushed around, let alone a girl.

“It’s okay,” Jiang Tiao said with a smile, joking, “If you win in the end, remember to go easy on us.”

Variety shows, especially live variety shows, often involve saving the situation and livening up the atmosphere. To liven up the atmosphere without stepping on any landmines, it is necessary to understand the personality of every guest present. Shu Tongtong habitually went to thoroughly understand the personalities and deeds of her collaborators before each recording. Shu Tongtong looked up and sized up Jiang Tiao. She found that among the many people she had interacted with in the entertainment industry, Jiang Tiao was the only one whose reputation and actual demeanor differed so greatly.

Just before the time limit, Jiang Tiao and Luo Xingwen returned to the gathering point in a hurry with the purchased items, both sweating profusely. They looked so miserable that the other person couldn’t help but want to laugh.

In contrast, Chu Xu, although also surrounded, showed no sign of embarrassment. He still had a Bking aura. If it weren’t for the two full hands of snacks he was carrying that disrupted the atmosphere, his entrance posture would have been exactly like a king descending in an anime.

Jiang Tiao whispered to Luo Xingwen beside him, “He signed autographs for an hour, how could he still buy so many snacks?”

Luo Xingwen: “I heard he had fans buy them for him.”

“You can do that?” Jiang Tiao was very shocked, and then said with regret, “Then why didn’t you let your fans help?”

Luo Xingwen was speechless: “I don’t have money, big brother. We’re not allowed to use our own money.”

Jiang Tiao realized, so Chu Xu had his fans help but didn’t pay them?

“Volunteer labor, that’s really not appropriate. It violates labor laws. If you have evidence, you can go to the administrative department to demand compensation, especially since there are quite a few students.”

“……” Luo Xingwen’s mouth twitched slightly, “Your brain circuit is truly amazing.”

“?”

Jiang Tiao didn’t think there was anything wrong with what he said.

Shu Tongtong was the last to return. She ran until her head was covered in sweat, gasping for air uncontrollably, her chest heaving violently, and the sweat stains clearly visible on her clothes.

She originally wanted Chu Xu to hand her a bottle of water, but remembering Chu Xu’s personality, she took a few breaths and reached for it herself.

The water was on Chu Xu’s side, so she would have to reach past him. Shu Tongtong was very careful, trying her best not to touch Chu Xu. However, as she leaned over to reach, the obvious disdain in Chu Xu’s eyes and his action of covering his nose and leaning back still stung her.

Chu Xu disdained her. She knew this from the moment the director paired her with Chu Xu. The entertainment industry was full of handsome men and beautiful women. Teaming up with someone like her was naturally less pleasing than teaming up with a beautiful girl or a handsome young man. Chu Xu wasn’t the first male celebrity to disdain her; she was already used to it.

Shu Tongtong pulled herself together, forced a smile, and encouraged herself after a long period of self-persuasion.

“I bought quite a lot,” Shu Tongtong happily spread the items she had painstakingly queued up for on the table in front of them.

Chu Xu didn’t even look. His patience had been worn thin by the morning’s recording. The live broadcast cameras weren’t on, so he couldn’t even be bothered to pretend.

Shu Tongtong saw that Chu Xu also had a pile of snacks and was somewhat surprised. She inquired with the other guests to understand the situation.

The hard work of shuttling through the crowd in thirty to forty-degree heat for over an hour at noon became a joke. Even someone as good-tempered as Shu Tongtong couldn’t help but feel a little annoyed.

“Since you bought everything, why didn’t you send a message to tell me earlier?”

Chu Xu glanced sideways at Shu Tongtong. Did someone at her level have the right to yell at him?

The live broadcast cameras turned back on. Chu Xu proudly showed his haul to the director. Ji Mengfei and Ying Yuanxun looked at him with admiration and praised him continuously. However, Shu Tongtong, his teammate who should have been praising him, was unusually silent.

Many observant viewers in the live broadcast room noticed the anomaly and saved the screen recordings, planning to investigate after the broadcast ended.

“In this era of precious resources and ever-increasing environmental pressure, each of us should take on the responsibility of protecting the environment,” the director said while moralizing, tearing off the paper covering the other half of the rules on the display board. “Adhering to the ‘clean plate’ action is a respect for nature and a manifestation of social responsibility.”

“Therefore, the prerequisite for scoring points in this round is to finish all the snacks we bought.”

The director smiled slyly, and the guests’ expressions were all contorted.

Jiang Tiao and Luo Xingwen looked at the hairy eggs and unborn chicks in the plastic bags in front of them, their smiles cracking.

[Hahahaha, the moment I saw hairy eggs and unborn chicks on the specialty list, I had an ominous feeling.]

[I feel like the guests who bought hairy eggs are going to break.]

[Jiang Tiao’s expression is too funny. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to call it a bolt from the blue.]

[Hahahaha, I reasonably suspect the director designed this segment specifically waiting for this moment.]

Jiang Tiao and Luo Xingwen tremblingly poked the shells of the eggs with chopsticks. Inside the eggs, fluffy wings had already grown. The body of the chick was twisted and deformed, sticky and black. The death and imperfection were both terrifying and disgusting to behold.

Jiang Tiao put down his chopsticks with a “splat,” feeling that his hands were no longer usable.

Luo Xingwen also found it difficult to maintain his composure. “Eat,” “don’t eat,” these thoughts spun wildly in his mind, making him dizzy and nauseous.

Jiang Tiao took a deep breath and made the decision first: “I don’t think we need to get points in this round that badly.”

Luo Xingwen looked at him.

Jiang Tiao: “Actually, being a waiter isn’t bad. I serve everyone, everyone serves me, I serve, I’m glorious!”

Luo Xingwen looked numb: “It’s okay to be a waiter, but what if only a chef is left as an option?”

Jiang Tiao’s smile froze on his face.

Luo Xingwen: “Do you know how to cook?”

Jiang Tiao was on the verge of tears: “Can boiled vegetables work?”

Luo Xingwen was a little surprised: “Boiled vegetables?”

Jiang Tiao: “Just boiled vegetables in clear water…”

Luo Xingwen: “……”