SABA Chapter 54

Jiang Tiao couldn’t figure it out for several days. One day, he was eating with Huo Shen, and he couldn’t help but ask, “Do I really like men?”

Huo Shen paused while picking up food. He looked up leisurely, with a smile that was hard to describe, “You can’t accept it?”

“Of course not!” Jiang Tiao blurted out. If he couldn’t accept this, why would he be so close to Chu Yanhao?

He just couldn’t figure it out! Was his taste that bad?!

He had been pondering it back and forth for the past few days, but he couldn’t find anything likable about Chu Xu. Moreover…

“If I liked men, why haven’t I liked you? Is there any man in this world more outstanding than you?” Jiang Tiao felt that there was nothing wrong with his thinking. He and Huo Shen grew up together, and Huo Shen’s excellence had always been his motivation to strive forward and become outstanding. Many times he had thought that if only one of them were a woman, he would unhesitatingly pursue Huo Shen. But now, the prerequisite was no longer needed, and he still didn’t like Huo Shen? “Am I blind?”

Jiang Tiao asked the question that Huo Shen had wanted to ask for many years.

Huo Shen smiled, “…That’s a good question. I’d like to know too.”

Jiang Tiao: “?”

However, what did that mean?

Jiang Tiao felt like he had been insulted, but he wasn’t sure…

And why did this conversation feel so strange?

Jiang Tiao sized up Huo Shen’s seemingly good mood and pondered for a long time. By the time they finished their meal, went for a walk, and ended up in the projection room to watch a movie before washing up and going to their respective rooms to sleep, he still couldn’t figure it out.

Forget it, it’s not important.

…

Jiang Tiao never made himself difficult for long with things he couldn’t figure out, especially since he felt that this matter hadn’t brought any negative changes to his life.

What he worried about most at first was that this matter would affect his interaction with Huo Shen. He even thought that Huo Shen had always kept a subtle distance from him because he knew his sexual orientation and was deliberately avoiding suspicion for him.

But it turned out he was overthinking. Since that day, Huo Shen seemed to have shed some burden. He no longer deliberately kept his distance or avoided physical contact. He felt that his interactions with Huo Shen had even become more intimate than before—they would often snuggle together to watch movies and play games, and they slept in the same bed more times than in the previous few months combined. Jiang Tiao had always believed that whether one was willing to sleep in the same bed was an important indicator of the intimacy of a friendship. Just like him and Chu Yanhao, they couldn’t stand each other, their friendship intimacy was zero, so let alone sleeping in the same bed, they couldn’t even sleep in the same room.

Jiang Tiao believed that Huo Shen must have felt he was hiding something and wasn’t being frank enough with him, feeling guilty, which was why he had been like that before.

Alas, Jiang Tiao felt that Huo Shen was overthinking and too principled. If he didn’t want to say it, he didn’t have to. What did it matter? He didn’t mind at all!

But fortunately, everything was developing in a good direction. Jiang Tiao felt that his recent interactions with Huo Shen could be described as inseparable. Uh, this word doesn’t seem quite right… anyway, it’s not important. In short, their interactions were very harmonious, perhaps no less than that of newlyweds.

Hmm… this description still feels a bit strange?

…

One day, Huo Shen had a dinner engagement, and Jiang Tiao also had a commercial shoot. Jiang Tiao initially thought Huo Shen would finish earlier than him. However, by the time he finished, he hadn’t received any news from Huo Shen.

Since he had nothing else to do, Jiang Tiao got the hotel address from Lin Shun and planned to pick up Huo Shen himself to give him a surprise.

To his surprise, Huo Shen was drunk.

He sat in the car and saw Huo Shen being escorted out by a group of people from a distance. Most of them were in suits and were successful people. Jiang Tiao had even seen some of them in financial magazines multiple times.

Jiang Tiao rested his forearm on the car window and watched leisurely, intending to wait for Huo Shen to discover him. However, as he watched, he noticed Huo Shen rubbing his temples twice—this was his subconscious action of forcing himself to stay clear-headed whenever he got drunk.

Huo Shen’s alcohol tolerance wasn’t high, only about three glasses of baijiu. When he first took over the company, there were always unavoidable social obligations. Every time he drank a little too much, he would be uncomfortable for several days. But with his current status, he no longer had to force himself. Jiang Tiao hadn’t seen Huo Shen drink at business dinners for a long time.

Jiang Tiao no longer cared if there were paparazzi in public. He hurried out of the car and took Huo Shen from Lin Shun.

Upon seeing Jiang Tiao, Huo Shen stopped forcing himself to stay clear-headed. He seemed to have shed all his outward defenses and masks, and collapsed into Jiang Tiao’s arms, his chin resting on his shoulder. His usually composed expression showed a hint of grievance, “My head hurts so much.”

Jiang Tiao was instantly heartbroken. He patted Huo Shen’s back soothingly, like coaxing a child, “Let’s go home first. I’ll make you some hangover tea when we get home, and you’ll feel better after drinking it.”

Lin Shun was tactful and showed a deliberately troubled expression, “This… Young Master Jiang, I have some things at home…”

Jiang Tiao’s eyes were full of Huo Shen, and he didn’t pay attention to Lin Shun, “Oh, oh, oh, it’s okay, I’ll take him back. You go home, you’ve worked hard.”

Jiang Tiao was clearly the kind of young master who had never taken care of anyone. Lin Shun saw him carefully and clumsily helping Huo Shen into the passenger seat. The whole process looked clumsy, and several times he either almost pinched himself or almost bumped into Huo Shen. Lin Shun originally wondered if he should go up and help, but he saw his boss bump his head and still seem to enjoy it.

Forget it, he shouldn’t be a nuisance.

The weather in November was already a bit chilly, but Jiang Tiao was sweating all over. He closed the car door and returned to the driver’s seat. He felt guilty and distressed as he rubbed the spot on Huo Shen’s head where he had bumped it. “Does it hurt from bumping? I’ll rub some medicine on it for you when we get home. Or maybe we should call a doctor to check it out, just in case.”

Huo Shen’s eyes curved slightly, and his deep eyes seemed to be filled with countless stars. He held down Jiang Tiao’s hand, which was about to take out his phone to make a call.

“Why are you smiling?” Jiang Tiao was a little worried, thinking that Huo Shen was indeed drunk.

Huo Shen shook his head, his forehead leaning against Jiang Tiao’s hand, “Let’s go home first, it doesn’t hurt much.”

Alcohol could numb the nerves, and Jiang Tiao felt that Huo Shen’s words at this moment were not very credible. However, tossing and turning when drunk would indeed make him feel worse. Jiang Tiao decided to see the situation when they got home before making a decision. After all, he used to play sports often, and his experience with bruises and sprains was very rich. He leaned over to unbuckle Huo Shen’s seatbelt and gently coaxed him, his tone carrying a hint of pampering and tenderness that he himself didn’t notice, “Okay, let’s go home first.”

Jiang Tiao’s driving skills were honed on the racetrack. Heaven knows how carefully he pressed the accelerator and brake to drive smoothly. People who are drunk are already uncomfortable. He was worried that driving too fast would make Huo Shen feel even worse. Along the way, Jiang Tiao drove very focused, not daring to be distracted at all. The short half-hour journey left him with sweaty palms.

After finally parking the car in the garage, Jiang Tiao hadn’t heard any movement from Huo Shen. He thought he must have fallen asleep. However, when he turned his head, he saw Huo Shen staring at him intently, and he didn’t know how long he had been looking.

Jiang Tiao’s eyes softened. He reached out and gently brushed Huo Shen’s eyelashes, which were like butterfly wings. Seeing him motionless, he only blinked. Jiang Tiao’s heart melted. He felt that the drunk Huo Shen was slow to react, appearing particularly obedient and very amusing.

Jiang Tiao brewed a pot of hangover tea with honey and coaxed Huo Shen to drink a cup. He didn’t make a fuss by finding professional help. Huo Shen didn’t cause any trouble when he was drunk, and they weren’t of opposite genders, so Jiang Tiao felt he could take care of him completely. Until he helped Huo Shen prepare his bathwater.

The hazy steam filled the enclosed and cramped bathroom. Jiang Tiao unbuttoned Huo Shen’s shirt one by one… Huo Shen had a well-proportioned figure, fair skin, broad shoulders, a narrow waist, and firm and sexy abdominal muscles that flowed downwards.

Jiang Tiao didn’t know why, but he inexplicably felt his face getting hot. Jiang Tiao slightly averted his gaze, instinctively avoiding eye contact.

It was strange. Jiang Tiao felt it was wrong. What was there to be shy about? They were both men, and what Huo Shen had, he also had. Besides, they had seen each other before. What was there to be embarrassed about?

Thinking this, Jiang Tiao shifted his gaze back. The rustling sound of clothes rubbing together was amplified in the enclosed space, stimulating Jiang Tiao’s eardrums and pounding his heart.

His rapid heartbeat made him feel dry-mouthed, and his actions under his hands carried a hint of unconscious anxiety. He unbuckled Huo Shen’s belt. The “clack” sound of the metal buckle separating from the teeth echoed in the quiet bathroom, mingling with the humid steam. The fine metallic tremor penetrated his eardrums and sank into his mind, like a mark that broke some critical point.

Jiang Tiao’s face turned completely red. He felt that the psychological preparation he had just made had immediately vanished like a mushroom cloud, leaving only ruins and dust.

“You, why don’t you wash yourself,” Jiang Tiao couldn’t even speak clearly.

Huo Shen grabbed Jiang Tiao’s hand on his belt, his expression slow, a little confused, and seemed not to understand, “Why?”

Steam billowed in the bathroom, and Jiang Tiao felt like a shrimp thrown into a steamer. Jiang Tiao didn’t know how to explain something to a drunk person that he himself couldn’t explain.

What made it even more unspeakable was that he was actually reacting!

Jiang Tiao despised himself. He hadn’t specifically studied the psychology of homosexuals or bisexuals, but he had examples around him that could serve as references. In essence, it was no different from heterosexuals. It wasn’t that liking men would cause one to have urges towards all men. What was the difference between that and straight men having thoughts when they saw a girl? That was perverted!

Amidst self-loathing and repeated self-persuasion and suggestion, Jiang Tiao quickly stripped Huo Shen of his clothes. He averted his eyes from what he shouldn’t look at and let Huo Shen lie down in the bathtub, while he himself squatted nearby with the showerhead, helping Huo Shen wash his hair.

The shampoo bubbles were white and delicate. He gently massaged Huo Shen’s temples and the Baihui acupoint, silently recalling and chanting the “Classic of the Great Ultimate on Purity and Tranquility” he had seen somewhere.

The Great Ultimate says… what does it say? You never know how much you need something until you need it! Jiang Tiao! Can you do it or not?!

Wuwuwu, Jiang Tiao, who couldn’t do it where he should and was so eager where he shouldn’t be, was on the verge of tears!

He carefully rinsed the shampoo bubbles from Huo Shen’s hair and dried it for him first. He placed the bath towel and spare clothes within easy reach. He held up the used towel and dirty clothes, bent over slightly, and dropped a sentence, “I’m going to take a shower too,” before fleeing.

He quickly took care of himself in the bathroom in his room. After coming out, he lingered in the living room for several laps. He didn’t know how to face Huo Shen, feeling a bit ashamed, as if it were a blasphemy and insult to their friendship.

However, he was still worried about Huo Shen.

Worry finally triumphed over all concerns. He thought of all sorts of excuses, both to convince himself and to explain if Huo Shen asked. However, when he cautiously pushed open Huo Shen’s door, he found that Huo Shen had already fallen asleep.

He felt a sense of relief for no reason.

Huo Shen’s hair was soft and scattered on the pillow, his sleeping posture peaceful and serene, his breathing even and long, indicating a sound sleep. His long eyelashes were like butterfly wings, casting a faint shadow under his eyes. His fair skin looked exceptionally soft under the warm night light.

Jiang Tiao tiptoed to Huo Shen’s bedside, propped his chin, and watched for a while. His restless heart slowly calmed down.

He stared blankly for a while, then finally followed his heart’s desire and reached out to gently touch Huo Shen’s lips.

A storm, with its destructive power, swept his heart into a tempest. He retracted his hand as if he had been burned.

After a long time…

Huo Shen heard the sound of the door opening and closing again. His lightly closed eyes slowly opened. He touched his lips, which had been caressed by Jiang Tiao, and a smile appeared, his eyes clear.

…

A momentary slip-up doesn’t matter! Jiang Tiao went back to his room and locked himself in the bathroom. He leaned on both sides of the washbasin with his hands, fiercely lectured himself in the mirror for a full 10 minutes.

Men? It’s normal. But the reason humans are called higher beings is because they can control their desires!

Jiang Tiao calmed his mind and drifted off to sleep amidst restlessness and self-reproach.

In the early morning, Jiang Tiao, who thought everything would be over after a night’s sleep, woke up from a beautiful dream.

In the rising steam, intertwined figures overlapped. The smooth, delicate skin felt so real. Water droplets slid down his long neck and fell into his hollow collarbone. The touch of his fingertips tracing his spine was like the tremor of a brushstroke on Xuan paper…

He clearly saw that face and could no longer deceive himself…

Jiang Tiao irritably ran his hands through his hair, changed the damp bedsheets, squatted by the bed with his face covered, and was incredibly distraught.

He felt like an animal!

…